If you play Stairway to Heaven backwards, you'll hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
P.S. Two of my best friends used to be obsessed with these, so I'll get some more from them.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fu** he wants.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fu** out of the way.
Off the top of my head... those came up.
"I wear tinted visor not to trick other players, but so hot girls in stands don't see me looking at them."
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient, Fear.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
