Zlatan and Pique situation..

Discussion about European club leagues, Champions League and anything in UEFA
scottS4
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Post by scottS4 » 09 May 2010, 00:00

pele didn't lose his v card to a man, he lost it when he was 14 at the red light district. (to a woman)

soccer11
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Post by soccer11 » 09 May 2010, 00:05

http://momento24.com/en/2010/05/07/ibra ... ith-pique/

"Come to my house with your sister and we´ll see if I’m queer,”- Zlatan :lol:
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TommyGun
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Post by TommyGun » 09 May 2010, 00:14

haha, figures he'd say that. this dude has some funny quotes.

---------------

Zlatan – “First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog.”

Reporter – “Is your playing style Swedish or Yugoslavian?”
Zlatan – “It’s Zlatan-style.”

Reporter – “You’ve got some scars in your face, Zlatan. What has happened?”
Zlatan – “Well…I don’t know…you’ll have to ask your wife about that”

Zlatan – “Absolutely not. I have ordered a plane. It is much faster.” (Zlatan about the rumour that he bought a super-Porsche)

Reporter – “Do you think it’s even possible for Ajax to lose nine points in nine games?”
Zlatan – “According to my calculations it is possible to lose nine points in only three games.”

Reporter – “What would you name your son?”
Zlatan – “Zlatan Jr.”

Zlatan (about how time stopped as he stood waiting on the side line to come in against Argentina in the World Cup.) – “You could have punched me in the face, I wouldn’t have noticed.”

Reporter – “How many one night stands have you had in total?”
Zlatan – “I don’t do that stuff. For me it is romance and love…right?”

Zlatan (Answer to criticism from John Carew that Zlatan’s moves are pointless.) – “What Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange.”
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panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 09 May 2010, 00:17

Reporter – “Do you think it’s even possible for Ajax to lose nine points in nine games?”
Zlatan – “According to my calculations it is possible to lose nine points in only three games.”
Hahaha, I love when players and managers own useless Reporters :lol: :lol:
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


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soccer11
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Post by soccer11 » 09 May 2010, 00:31

:lol:
I have no problems turning this into a thread of funny quotes from Zlatan until we find out more info about Broke Back Barca.

On the question what his girlfriend got when they got engaged:
"What she got? She got Zlatan."

On humbleness:
"I am like (Muhammad) Ali. When he said he would knock someone out in the fourth round, he did it."

"Who is the most beautiful girl in the world?" (2001):
"I haven't met her yet, but when I do, I will date her."

To Malmö FF coach Michael Andersson during practice:
"Do you think that you are my mother?"
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panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 09 May 2010, 01:48

You can't talk about football quotes without mentioning Diego's quotes: (sorry for the mega offtopic)

"Bernasconi (the judge) is extremely fast. He has the capability of placing a suppository in a running hare" (after leaving the court room when he was in trials for his drug abuse tendencies)

"I inyect (make love) Claudia(wife) every night because we want a male son"

"Pele is homosexual"

"In the vatican everything is covered with goal, and outside of it theres kids dying without anything to eat" (after visiting the vatican city)

"It was the hand of God" (after scoring his goal vs England, then everybody started calling it that)

"I'm not against homosexuals. I think its a good thing that they exist, this way they leave more free women for those of us that are real men"

"Pele made his sexual debut with a man, and hit his manwo (woman)"

"In the beggining, drug (cocaine) makes you euphoric, its like winning a championship. And you think, what the hell with tomorrow, if today I won the champiosnhip"

"The rinoscopy, the short hair, one day one of the boys is gonna scratch a ball and Passarela is gonna make him cut it" (about argentina's strict Manager Daniel Passarela)

"No boys, today I have less words than a telegram" (denying talking to the press)

"Playing without a crowd is like playing in a graveyard" (after a closedoored game vs Real Madrid in 1987)

"I like to hit people when they have both of their hands up. When they have them down, I like to help them"

"Coppola is a sneaky fellow. He smokes under the water"

"Reaching the box and not being able to shoot on goal is like dancing with your sister"

"Are you trying to tell me about Juan Simon? I know him 10 years ago. He's capable of stealing milk from a little cat"

Milan Fan: At what time is the game Diego?
Diego: "At 10.30 is the day is cloudy, and at 5.55 if the day is sunny" (basically telling him to fu** off) !

- Granted some of these are the funniest, but it lets you know how he is!

- Traduced word for word, so thats him talking. You could probs find many of him in English as well
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TommyGun
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Post by TommyGun » 09 May 2010, 07:19

sounds good. here's quite a few of Mourinho's quotes over the years. this guy is such a jackass.

Jose’s Words of Wisdom

“It’s like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But the blanket is made of cashmere!”
On the injury ‘crisis’ at Chelsea in February.

“Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100% sure that the melon is good.”
On developing Chelsea’s young stars.

“The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.”
What turned out to be his parting shot to Roman Abramovich.

“I would love an Aston Martin but if you ask me £1m for an Aston Martin, I tell you, you are crazy because they cost £250,000.”
Insisting not even Chelsea would pay over the odds for a defender.

“Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top it’s a disgrace but the ball rolls at normal speed.”
Describing Chelsea’s sandpit of a pitch.

“We all want to play great music all the time, but if that is not possible, you have to hit as many right notes as you can.”
Admitting the Blues weren’t completely on song last season.

“Maybe the guy drank red wine or beer with breakfast instead of milk.”
After a Sheffield United fan threw a bottle at Frank Lampard during Chelsea’s 2-0 win at Bramall Lane.

“A player from Man City showed half of his ass for two seconds and it was a big nightmare. But this is a real nightmare.”
Comparing Petr Cech’s nasty injury with Joey Barton’s bottom-baring antics.

Jose on Jose

“Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.”
Introducing himself to the English press after arriving from Porto in 2004.

“If I wanted to have an easy job… I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”
Making a mockery of those who suggest he is big-headed.

“For me, pressure is bird flu. I’m feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It’s not fun and I’m more scared of it than football.”
Insisting his side wouldn’t catch a cold as Man Utd breathed down their necks.

“Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war.”
Unveiling his new Action Man haircut.

Jose on his Wife

“She is the real manager of family life. You are the star outside, here you are not a star.”
Mourinho admits his wife wears the trousers at home.

“It all depends on my wife. If I am at home, yes, I will see it. But maybe my wife would like to go somewhere. I would like to see it - I like to see football and it is a big game. But maybe I will have no permission.”
Waiting to hear whether he’d be allowed to watch Arsenal-Man Utd.

“My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away.”
Reassuring the population that his runaway Yorkshire Terrier had left the country with his wife.

Jose on Players

“A brilliant reaction. I hate it when players just walk off.”
Following Arjen Robben’s sharp exit down the tunnel after being substituted against Aston Villa.

“As you know Gallas had an unbelievable holiday. I hope he enjoyed it very much in Guadeloupe, which I think is a fantastic place to be on holiday, so he wanted to stay there for a long time.”
On William Gallas missing the first team’s trip to the United States because he was on holiday.

“I did it because I want to push my son to do the same. I also did it because I want to push the young players on my team to have a proper haircut, not the Rastafarian or the others they have.”
Mourinho confirming he’s a cut above the rest with his skinhead.

Jose on Referees

“When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee’s dressing room I couldn’t believe it. When Drogba was sent off I didn’t get surprised.”
Claiming Barcelona boss Frank Rijkaard had met with Anders Frisk at half-time in their Champions League tie.

“If you ask me if I jump with happiness when I know Mr Poll is our referee? No.”
Not a fan of Graham Poll then!

“I could feel immediately the movement. To somebody that understands the game and feels the football, smells the situation, it was obvious.”
Senses working overtime after a dodgy offside flag denies Chelsea a goal against Blackburn.

Jose on his Rivals

“Wenger has a real problem with us and I think he is what you call in England a voyeur. He is someone who likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have this big telescope to look into the homes of other people and see what is happening. Wenger must be one of them - and it is a sickness.”
Astonishing attack on Arsene Wenger.

“Three years without a Premiership title? I don’t think I would still be in a job.”
Putting the boot into Rafa Benitez.

“Many great managers have never won the Champions League - a big example is not far from us.”
Reminding Wenger there’s only room for one Special One in London.

“Liverpool are favourites because in the year 2007 we’ve played 27 matches and Liverpool play three or four.”
Cranking up the pressure ahead of the Champions League semi-final second leg.

“If you’re not a big club, you choose one competition and you fight in that competition and forget the others. Big clubs - we cannot do this.”
Warming to his theme.

“I am happy to be six points behind. In my opinion, Manchester United did not take advantage of our bad moments.”
Delighted Manchester United are so far ahead in the Premiership in January.

“I want to give my congratulations to them because they won. But we were the best team.”
In typically gracious mood after his side’s Carling Cup defeat by Charlton on penalties.

Jose on why the World is Against Us!

“This is the only time we have had to play before United and that’s because we control the fixtures. Just imagine if we didn’t control them!”
Hitting back at Sir Alex Ferguson’s claim that Chelsea engineered their game with Tottenham to take place just 39 hours after Spurs’ Uefa Cup match in Seville.

“How do you say ‘cheating’ in Catalan? Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play acting.”
Claiming Lionel Messi got Asier Del Horno sent off in a Champions League defeat by Barcelona.

“During the afternoon it rained only in this stadium - our kitman saw it - they tried everything. There must be a microclimate here.”
Bemoaning Blackburn’s pitch-watering tactics after the Blues’ hard-fought win at Ewood Park.

Jose in Defence of Chelsea

“We have eight matches and eight victories, with 16 goals, but people say we cannot play, that we are a group of clowns. This is not right.”
On his high horse after beating Liverpool.

“Entertaining? Too much!”
After the roller-coaster 3-2 win over Birmingham on the opening day of the season.

“I think I have a naive team. They are naive because they are pure and they are clean. We don’t have divers, we don’t have violent people.”
On his clean-living Chelsea boys, after Florent Malouda won a very dodgy penalty against Liverpool.

What the rest think of Jose

“If Chelsea are naive and pure then I’m Little Red Riding Hood.”
Rafa Benitez suspects Jose is telling porkies.

“My wife will be glad about Mourinho coming to Bramall Lane because he’s a good looking swine, isn’t he?”
Neil Warnock.

“He is almost a Yorkshireman with a Portuguese accent.”
Warnock again.

“When Mourinho says training will last one-and-a-half hours it will never last a second longer.”
Former Chelsea striker Eidur Gudjohnsen on Mourinho’s worrying attention to detail.

“I find it out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful.”
Arsene Wenger, always one for a good laugh, did not take too kindly to the ‘voyeur’ comments.

“Two finals [Champions League] in three years - not bad for a little club.”
Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard twists the knife after his side, branded a “little club” by Mourinho, reached the Champions League final at Chelsea’s expense.
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soccer11
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Post by soccer11 » 09 May 2010, 17:16

I've got to say, I love Mourinho. I'm really hoping he's back in England in the coming years *cough United cough* :)
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panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 09 May 2010, 17:45

I like him to. But he's a clown, every week a controversial statement, always picking fights with the ref's, the managers, the players. Getting suspended, he has beef with everyone and he plays dirty off the field, I think his strategy is to get into the other teams mind by doing and talking sh*t. hehe.

I also could never imagine Man U without Ferguson in charge. That be odd to just think about it. He's defo coming back next season?
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TommyGun
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Post by TommyGun » 09 May 2010, 18:10

Well, he's said that he doesn't like Italian football and it doesn't like him, hates the Italian press/media, etc. I also think if they happen to pull off the CL title, his stock would never be so high again....so he'll leave. He'll cash in and make a move to Spain or England, but I know he's stated he would really want the Chelsea job. Knowing Real Madrid, they'll launch a ridiculous bid for him regardless if he wins the CL final or not. I think they need someone like him anyway. They have a ton of individual talent but it rarely seems to be directed in a common goal. To the SAF successor, I think it will be someone that's more of the strong, silent type that's high respected in the EPL. It'll just depend when he wants to hang it up, which I'd say will be in the next 2-3 years for sure. Giggs, Scholes, and Neville are nearing their time so I think he'll go when they start to retire.
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klc123
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Post by klc123 » 09 May 2010, 18:54

Real Madrid have made it seem like they've already got a contract signed for him.

No one will ever be as good as Ferguson, but Mourhinho is the next best in the world, and Ferguson is having his last season now. God...end of an era or what.

shahensha
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Post by shahensha » 09 May 2010, 19:24

hahaha Oh goodness, I would absolutely love for Mourinho to go to Madrid. He is perfect for them. The most ostentatious club with the most pompous player gets the most characterless manager. Amazing.

Having said that, the spanish league (aka Barca vs Madrid) will become even more exciting, considering this season Barca and Madrid have achieved over 90 points with a few games in hand.
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klc123
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Post by klc123 » 09 May 2010, 20:02

Mourhinho is most definitely not characterless. If anything he has more character than most managers in the world. I think Real will win the league if he goes there.

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Re: Zlatan and Pique situation..

Post by bsc » 09 May 2010, 21:53

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On second look it's obvious they're not gay. They're just doing a rendition of a number from the play Rent ;)
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Post by Rome_Leader » 09 May 2010, 22:39

Perhaps shanesha meant 'classless'. He certainly is much closer to that. :p
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