Everyone is vain

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scottS4
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Everyone is vain

Post by scottS4 » 17 Jun 2011, 19:08

This is a theory that has been floating around in my head for a while:

Everyone is vain.

Vanity is when you are excessively proud of your achievements and appearance. Also, being egotistical and caring about yourself more than others can be described as being vain.

Very often I catch myself and others being vain. I try to think of others and not care what people think but its actually really hard.

When I see a group picture that I'm in, I immediately look at where I am. I don't even look at the other people in the picture until I've scrutinized mine. I mostly care what I look like. If someone else has their eyes closed or they're looking away, it doesn't concern me. But if I'm looking away, the picture is a bad one.

Often, if I'm looking at pictures with other people, they'll say something like "Oh I look terrible in this." The truth is that I don't even notice because it doesn't matter to me. One year, I broke my nose in a soccer tournament and we had yearbook pictures later that week. I had 2 black eyes and a swollen nose for my picture, and I thought everyone would see that picture and laugh. The truth though is that if someone else had a black eye or a swollen nose in that yearbook, I wouldn't have noticed. So its probably safe to assume that no one noticed/cared about my picture either.

Another example of me being vain is when I broke my ankle a few years ago. I figured everyone was sympathising with me and talking about how unlucky I was to get injured right before the season started. I figured my team was always bringing me up in conversation, wondering when I could play again, etc.

Later on in the season, one of my team mates broke his tibia and was out for way longer than I was. We pretty much forgot about him very quickly and went about with our business. He didn't get brought up in conversation and we never stopped to say: "He was so unlucky to get injured like that."

When I look back, I realize it was probably the same when I was injured. No one cared too much that I was miserable on my crutches because it didn't affect them personally. No one was talking about me at lunch, or thinking about me on their own time,, why should they?

So why did I figure they would? Because I'm vain. And I've realized that everyone else is vain too. I see people at the gym constantly glancing at the mirror. I see ugly girls scoff at hot girls for being "sluts" and saying they have dignity and class. Even though if they were good looking, they'd be fu**ing just as many guys. I see people surround themselves with other people because they can't bare to be seen alone somewhere.

I don't really know where I'm taking this lol so I guess I'll end it here.

collin
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Post by collin » 17 Jun 2011, 21:14

Everyone is vain. Here is a good example, remember that Tsunami that happened in japan lately? remember the first few days how bad people felt and everyone was making shirts and charity's and all of that. And what happened a few weeks later? nobody cared, we don't actually care because it doesn't happen to us, we all just go on with our normal lives and business. Pretty much everyone is vain.
This brings me up to a good point that might get off track a little bit. Here is an example of how we only care when it happens to us. Look, everyone in the United States remembers 9/11, and alot of people think it was the worst thing to ever happen, people act like millions of people died and it was the worst disaster in the world. But really these people are clueless and know nothing, and think that the whole world should be sad for the united states because 3,000 people died. But actually 9/11 wasn't even that big. Look at all the other countries that have lost 100x more people than 9/11 did. (even the Tsunami recently had way more) My point is that we make a bigger deal of 9/11 than other people do of there tragic accidents that were 100x worse. get what im saying?

klc123
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Post by klc123 » 17 Jun 2011, 21:23

That was a very deep personal reflection.

However, I do think you are confusing vanity with jealousy, selfishness and also self-consciousness.

Vanity is when someone glances in the mirror because they admire themselves, and actually find themselves appealing to look at. There are two causes of this, genuine egotistical personality, and the more likely insecurity personality trying to reassure ones-self.

I very much doubt you are the kind of person who looks at photos of yourself because you actually like the way you look. I think what the actual case is, is that you are self-conscious (which is perfectly normal) and want to make sure that you are acceptable.

You have to remember, it is human nature to be normal, to fit in with everyone. If it is common practice to do something, everyone does it to be the same. This is why isolated cultures have some aspects of their life that others find strange or weird.

This is also why bullying occurs, it is human instinct to be suspicious of someone who is slightly different to everyone else, it is a survive mechanism brought about through evolution, so as not to put trust in people who should not be trusted.

The fact that you want to look at your picture to see if it is bad or not is normal, no one wants to see a bad picture of themselves, even if the picture if a bad picture of everyone else.

The reality is that we are our own harshest judge. Some people more than others. The fact that you play football a lot shows that you are very likely very tough on yourself. You don't train on your own and work out 100% because you enjoy it, a large reason is because you want to better yourself. It is that personality trait of self scrutiny that leads people to greatest, because no one would ever get anywhere in life if they didn't want to better themselves. However, when taken to the extreme it can be counter productive.

A classic example is how many people believe themselves to be ugly. However, when asked if one of their friends looked exactly the same as them, they wouldn't actually believe their friend was ugly. This is when self-criticism is taken to the extreme, and a degree of paranoia enters the equation. People begin to look for faults in themselves to criticise, which is extremely demoralising, and is what leads people to have eating disorders or complexes about certain things.

So in reality, I don't believe everyone is vain. I do believe however that the majority of people are not very nice, in one aspect or the other. It is very easy to lose hope in mankind upon reflections of society, and the things some people think/believe/do.

Edit:

Collin I do agree with your point about 9/11 to an extent. As I said above, many people in society are too selfish and too wrapped up in their own lives to care about anyone else. However, at the same time it is far easier to remember an act of evil terrorism than an act of natural disaster for a start. The reasons are:
1. US is still at war with terrorism, it is regularly in the news and talked about.
2. Many people lost family members in 9/11, and for them, every day they are reminded about it, where as far less people in US lost family in the Japanese Tsunami.
3. There is someone to blame for 9/11. This incites anger, one of the most strongest and uncontrollable emotions.

On the other hand, I live in the UK. None of my family were in the US died or were affected by 9/11. It's rarely referred to in the news. However the UK has a large Muslim community. And unfortunately, even people who are not racist cannot help but associate and remember the tragedies of 9/11 and the London bombings whenever they see the Muslim community. It is a very sad world we live in when all of the good in society is shadowed by despicable acts of evil and this so called 'JIHAD'.

panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 17 Jun 2011, 21:47

people are selfish and self-centered, from little kids to adults, my little brother when he was 6 years old, did the same thing you did about pictures, he glanced for minutes at how HE looked on the picture, some are more selfish than others, but we all are at the end of the day, and thats nothing new really -

don't worry about it, be humble, nice, and confident and do you man, go about with your business become who you wanna become --

Scotts one that affects me all the time is the problems one, like when you had a broken nose or a black eye, you thought everybody was looking and talking about it, but in reality no one really noticed it- I have that sh*t from time to time, like, i'm disorganized and messy sometimes, and i think everybody notices it, and thinks bad of me thanks to it, when in reality a few people are as messy as me, and have the same problems i do, and are to busy worried about their own bs- Theres a quote like "we suffer more in our head that in real life" which is totally true, we spend hours worrying about situations that almost NEVER occur, and that if they do are 10 times smaller than we made them be in our minds -
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

collin
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Post by collin » 17 Jun 2011, 22:58

yeah i know what your saying klc, but what about tienamen square or the germans killing jews or libya or all that sh*t going down thats no natural disaster. Maybe its because 9/11 is more recent?

klc123
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Post by klc123 » 17 Jun 2011, 23:12

Woahhh, the Germans killing the Jews? Man the whole of Europe has a day of remembrance for the holocaust every year. That took place roughly 60 years ago. That is like two generations, most of the people who were there when it happened are dead.

9/11 on the other hand is only 10 years ago.

Not to belittle the tragedy of 9/11, but it will never be remembered as much or thought of as much as the holocaust. There is no comparison between 3,000 people and 11,000,000 people. During the peak of the holocaust, more than 3,000 people were been exterminated every day...There really is no comparison. To date, the holocaust is the most gruesome, tragic and shocking thing to ever take place in history, and imo nothing will ever compare to it until the end of humanity itself.

collin
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Post by collin » 18 Jun 2011, 00:02

i know that i was just using it as an example

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