My Relationship

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moaoui21
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My Relationship

Post by moaoui21 » 28 Jan 2011, 19:33

Alright lets see if anyone here can give me some good solid advice. I dated this girl since senior year (2 years) Im in love with her and im not just saying that for dramatics. I really am. Ive never cared for anything or anybody more than i care for her. I broke my leg my senior year and lost out on a scholorship to play on a Ateam soccer team. This happend right after the highschool season. I met her 3 weeks after i broke my leg. I was miserable at that time because of my leg. When i met her she was the most outgoing chill girl ive ever met, she made me totally forget about soccer. We did everything together she was my bestfriend. and i should add i basically lost my virginity to this girl. Weve been through so much together in just 2 years. I honestly want to marry her. Heres the pickle. I kissed another girl last may at a party, i told my girl and it tore her up in the inside. But a week passed and she forgave me..luckily. So fast foward 7 months to november. we were having some problems, arguing alot and just not getting along. we took breaks and they seem to work the best. The week after thanksgiving my friend had a birthday party and my gf couldent go. There were only 2 other chicks there and of course one wanted my dick. By the end of the night i was drunk and we made out. I didnt tell my gf because i knew what would happen. She found out from a friend about a month later and dumped my ass. I was miserable but i begged. She took me back after 3 weeks and we dated for another 2 weeks. Then she said out of nowhere that she couldent do it. She says shes in love with me and does not want this to end but she cant look at me the sameway.. :( Now im here and im disgusted with myself. I regret everyday what i did and i pray for a time machine. I want her back. Wtf should i do? I know shes the one.
Sorry its so long please help..

shahensha
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Post by shahensha » 28 Jan 2011, 19:59

damn what a conundrum. she loves you and doesnt want it to end but cant look at you the same way? women are a confused gender :lol:

she has prolly lost your trust. just take it easy and be patient. by that, i dont mean do nothing. you have to give her some time before you regain that trust in her eyes. furthermore, it'd be best to find the root cause of you two losing that spark in november and resolving it.
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Met
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Post by Met » 28 Jan 2011, 21:28

I'll play bad cop on this one.

Let's recap: You cheat on her once, you tell her because it's your first time, thinking it might blow over. It does. Lucky you. You do it again. You realise it isn't your first time and it might not blow over. It doesn't. In fact you make it worse by a friend having to tell her. So you not only a second time cheater, you're a liar aswell.

My advice, forget it.

You broke the trust and it will take forever to rebuild it. I'm talking getting professional help. You might not think it needs such a measure but this problem will definitely keep coming up in different masks if you continue being together. I say cut your losses now because seeing as this is your first proper loving relationship, problems you develop now will forever be imprinted in your psyche and you will continue to show the same behaviours in future relationships. Your cheating behaviours, your dishonesty. What's even worse, it will be imprinted into her psyche aswell. Attracting guys who will cheat and lie to her but her continuing with them even though it hurts deep inside because she is familiar with it.

I know you know what you did was wrong, yes it was a mistake, you hate yourself yada yada. But things could get much worse if you don't at least consider what I'm trying to tell you.

panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 28 Jan 2011, 21:58

Well, I really don't know what to say..

I think after the first time you deserve an oportunity, but after the second time its just a lack of respect to your girl friend...

That makes me think, if you really love her and want to marry her, why would you cheat on her? Twice, maybe you don't really love her, maybe you just love having a girl that hangs out with you and likes you, and maybe its physical or its very convenient and you feel better with a women by yourside, but your not truely in love, cause if you where, you probably wouldn't be kissing other chicks, thougg..

Now you fu**ed it up, and i've had big crushes on women, and trust me, your not gonna like how this sounds, but maybe its time to move on.. I know your emotional and sh*t, and thats normal, but if you erase her from your facebook, your cellphone, and change your lifestyle you'll soon forget her...

Thats why i do when i break up with the few girl friends i've had, im in huge crushes and really into them, even talk about her being "the one", but then something happens, my friends luckily tell me to stop talking about her, to snap out of that mindstate, i erase them from facebook, erase them from my cell phone, and basically erase them from my life and slowly but surely i forget about them..

How old are you? 19-20? Don't you think your to young to know what you want for sure, and who you want to marry? I mean, i believe you you feel that way, but surely you need to be with more people before you can make up your mind who you want to be with for the rest of your life..

my 2 cents
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

moaoui21
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Post by moaoui21 » 28 Jan 2011, 22:14

honestly i have no idea why i messed up the second time or even the first for that matter. I have no excuses, i wish i did but i dont. My friends were always partying and my gf didnt like me going all of the time so when i did i was out of control. And im a dick for that i know. But i havent partied since that last one. I even stopped drinking. I know ive changed even though its only been a month. I want to be better not just for her but for me because i know i never would want to disrespect anyone like that let alone the girl i love. I dont know if shes going to take me back i still hope she does cause i know i can do better and i do really love her. And im also willing to do anything to gain her trust back. There is strong attraction and i do love hanging out with her all of the time. But it definetly isnt the only reasons why i want her back.

I see these dudes all of the time hit on these girls and the girls would be like dont you have a gf? whats her name again? and the dudes would be like uhhh..yeah. I dont want to be that way, those fu**ing douches

arsenalfc08
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Post by arsenalfc08 » 28 Jan 2011, 22:18

senior year (2 years) Im in love with her
I honestly want to marry her
So why did you cheat on her not once but twice and then keep it from her. Did you honestly think she wouldn't find out? To make it worse she ended up hearing it from someone else because you wouldn't admit it to her.

Were you drunk the first time you cheated on her? If you were then maybe you need to scale back on the drinking when you're out. I'm not saying you can't drink but you clearly have impaired judgement when you're under the influence.

Honestly you really messed this one up you have no one to blame but yourself. You were lucky she gave you a second chance after you cheated the first time, then you go and cheat on her again. Yeah Yeah I know I know you were drunk.

LiveTheDream
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Post by LiveTheDream » 29 Jan 2011, 01:30

I'm with arsenal on this. You had your second chance, yet you went and did it again. If you truly loved her then you wouldn't have done it again, no matter what your issues with each other were.

You've really broken that trust by doing it again. I know if I were in her situation I wouldn't be taking you back. It just shows a true lack of respect. She owes it to herself. If she took you back after all this then how on earth is she going to be able to respect herself?
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Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader » 29 Jan 2011, 01:48

Aye aye there. You screwed up, and it sounds like you were certainly deserving of a second chance, but then you went and blew it again, and this time, you withheld it from her. Bad call. I'm not saying she would've forgiven you again, but you might have made things a lot worse by appearing, to her at least, as if you wanted to conceal it.

Arsenal is also right that you may want to scale back your drinking so you don't get in such situations where things happen that could mess up a relationship you value. Better yet, go to all-dude parties. It would take a lot more liquor, and then when you screw up, you'll have learned your lesson! :P

Not to make light of the situation at all, though. She's done a lot for you, and you might truly love her a lot, but... I don't if you have any recompense from here. Perhaps it's best to move on rather than pining over her and feeling sorry for your mistakes. Take my advice though, that if you do find a new girl, and the problem persists, it really is you at fault.
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panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 29 Jan 2011, 02:48

From another point of view, I think these punches happen in life so we can learn... Trust me, even though you might feel like sh*t, your not the first person that cheats on his girlfriend once or twice, many people have this...

If it makes you feel better, if the girl that came to you was hot, maybe I would have kissed her too... Your young you have hormones, and you don't know what you want....

Drinking, having problems, being with females, is all part of growing up and turning into a complete proyect... Your a young person still, if you get out there and experience life maybe in your mid 20's you'll be much more mature and not make these teenager mistakes... Its better to have messed up afew times, than just staying in your bubble and not living life at alll..

I just can't believe you say your inlove and you want to marry this girl... Spend some time without her, and im sure your feelings will diminish, plus if you really wanted to marry her you wanted have cheated twice..You might think you do, but if you really love something then theres no excuses.....

Just move on is my advise, theres more fish in the ocean, and you have more experience, this pain your going through will make you stronger, and next time you wont do the same thing..
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

TommyGun
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Post by TommyGun » 29 Jan 2011, 03:42

You'll live, learn(hopefully), and make mistakes along the way. You're fairly young to declare that this is the girl you want to be with for the rest of your life after showing multiple signs of being unfaithful early on. Some relationships can be rebuilt as long as there is the ability to forget the past and trust...which is very rare. You can't make someone trust you no matter how much they mean to you, especially when you give them multiple reasons not to.

To be honest with you, I think it's best if you try to see other people for the time being if you ever want another shot with her in the future. If you both see other people, you'll either discover how good(or bad) your relationship was so it'll either stir past feelings or allow you to create new ones for other people. There's a 50/50 chance, but it's still much better than pushing her further away by crowding her now when she clearly doesn't want anything to do with you. Giving it time to pass will be the only way to come off as sincerely sorry if indeed you are.
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NewBornProdigy
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Post by NewBornProdigy » 29 Jan 2011, 15:32

Listen... sit her down, spill your guts, explain your feelings in the prettiest most romantic words you can muster (romantic now, not gay)

Hold her hand, speak softly (use lots of words begining with 's') appeal to her heart, her past feelings for you (make sure you smell nice and eat about 30 chewing gums before)

Quote Bob Marley 'Look, honestley, everyones gonna hurt you, you just gotta remember who's worth it in the end'

Turn around and say the truth 'I am sorry'


If she breaks and admits she wants you, congrats, grow a sack and some brains and don't screw it up again

If she turns around and says she doesn't, tough, grow a sack and move on

Best of luck man

(Don't listen to the critics, you cheated on her, your a 19 year old... i'm surprised it was only twice... just for christ sake don't let her find out, and if she does make SURE your the one who she finds out from)
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Icy
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Post by Icy » 29 Jan 2011, 15:36

Hold her hand, speak softly (use lots of words begining with 's') appeal to her heart
THIS. THIS. THIS. Girls love to be called sluts. :P
Last edited by Icy on 29 Jan 2011, 15:38, edited 1 time in total.
"Somewhere along the line, we seem to have confused comfort with happiness"

NewBornProdigy
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Post by NewBornProdigy » 29 Jan 2011, 15:37

Icy wrote:
Hold her hand, speak softly (use lots of words begining with 's') appeal to her hear
THIS. THIS. THIS. Girls love to be called sluts. :P
Hahahahaha very well played
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mint
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Post by mint » 29 Jan 2011, 16:53

When your partying make sure you dont get in another chicks knickers, not hard :lol: :lol:
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panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 29 Jan 2011, 17:18

Do what NBP said :wink:
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

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