What would you do in a zombie crisis?

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mint
EF Drug Baron
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Thought this might be a fun little thread.

How would you survive a zombie crisis?

I would first stock up on essentials like food, drink, cd player etc, then id get a good form of transport preferably a big 4x4 that can take some damage, load it iwith weapons such as ak47 grenade launchers uzis etc then id just go take shlter in the countryside where no one lives for miles and miles and wait for it all to end while reading four four two magazine.



What would you do???
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user1101
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solar powerd plane.
fill it with food and youre set (Y)

mint
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user1101 wrote:solar powerd plane.
fill it with food and youre set (Y)
What about a pilot?
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Rome_Leader
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The answer seems simple. I'd fly over to London and as fast as possible, and contact as many EFers as I could. We'd shore up with supplies and such in Wembley, and play football until it was over. :P

mint
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Rome_Leader wrote:The answer seems simple. I'd fly over to London and as fast as possible, and contact as many EFers as I could. We'd shore up with supplies and such in Wembley, and play football until it was over. :P
Now that is a plan and half. 8)
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sir_alex_vu
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I would probably let them eat me. That way I can turn into a zombie too!

You always want to be on the winning team! :lol:

Actually, it depends on what type of zombies they are. If they're the kind in like the old movies where they walk at a super-slow pace and have the worst reflexes then I'd just take a ball and pull off stepovers and nutmegs around them! haha.

But, if they're like the kind in 28 Days Later, screw that.

NewBornProdigy
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Its rather simple, trap one, befriend it... Name it Fred
Cook it dinners and trap it a nice female zombie

Introduce it to boozing and hookers so it becomes distracted and bored when not around those two things

...Show it facebook

Once its addicted and turns into a real zombie (stuck at a computer) let it introduce this lethal weapon to the rest of the zombies

Once all of them spend their days staring at the nearest computer screen poking each other, move all the computers to a abandoned place in the english midlands

Nuke the bastards


...Delete all their facebook accounts

Repeat whole exercise with Manchester United supporters

Evan
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I would fly over with Rome_Leader and we can just play some footy while we await our doom. Or we could all dress up like Spartans and re-enact the battle of Thermopylae vs. Zombies...fighting til the last man.
On a different note everyone's pretty good with women when it comes to hookers... well except the sham-wow guy.
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MUFC1994
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NewBornProdigy wrote:Its rather simple, trap one, befriend it... Name it Fred
Cook it dinners and trap it a nice female zombie

Introduce it to boozing and hookers so it becomes distracted and bored when not around those two things

...Show it facebook

Once its addicted and turns into a real zombie (stuck at a computer) let it introduce this lethal weapon to the rest of the zombies

Once all of them spend their days staring at the nearest computer screen poking each other, move all the computers to a abandoned place in the english midlands

Nuke the bastards


...Delete all their facebook accounts

Repeat whole exercise with Manchester United supporters
Funniest thing ive heard today...except the last part :wink:

2brown347
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Good ovioiusly you people haven't read The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooke. Nothing below is my idea's they all come from Max even though its in my words. The credit belongs to him, he's a great man who will save many lifes.

First of all despite what some movies may say the zombies average life span will be 3-5 years if allowed to live out their full life. Then add in that if the outbreak isn't nipped in the bud there could be dangerously large populations of zombies for 20+ years, and 1 zombie is a dangerous population.

You also need to keep into account the 3 types of zombies.
1st) the classic slow walking "brain" sterotype which is a very real threat and you need to always be ready for
2nd) the vodoo zombie which is partly braindead, but mainly just undercontrol by someone else. Although no longer human isn't in the same category as the first mension since they can't spread
3rd) the hollywood running zombie.... which is stupid


Now killing zombies will be very important which is why I train constantly. Being able to hold your own in a hand to hand fight is important, but weapons are a lot safer. I'll go over the choices of weapons below, but the most important thing to remember is that the only way to kill a zombie is by destroying the brain.

Blunt weapons: The first thing to remember is that wooden objects like handles and sticks may work for knocking around zombies, but don't have the ability to crush the skull, which can prove to be fatal. Very heavy items like sledge hammers are good for their one hit kill factor, but are heavy and are a burden to use. A metal baseball bat is good for a few fights, but can become damaged after extended use. Police sticks are good, but lack the one hit kill ability which can prove fatal. Another good option is the common hammer because of its devestating blows, but the reach is short and you can get bitten. The best weapon is a metal crowbar, its the perfect weight, has good reach, a hook and can be used extensively.

Sharp weapons: The common axe is a great choice since it can crush the skull and cut off the head, but if you miss you can be put off balanced. A hatchet is good, but like the hammer the reach is an issue.

Swords: Swords are a great weapon but you need to be careful with what you pick. Fencing swords aren't recommended because its extremely hard to kill a zombie with one and to do so you need to be an expert swordsmen. One handed swords like a long sword are great since they give you a free hand, but you need to make sure you have the strength to kill zombies effectively and the accuratly. The best sword is double handed katana since you have the strength to cut off their heads and their light with the finest blades. Other good choices are the roman gladius, the ninjite, and the common machete. With any sword make sure you have the real deal or a battle ready replica, not a display sword. And get military grade machetes.

There are multiple other good hand weapons but its too many to go over. So there are simple steps to decide how good they are:
"1) Can it crush a skull in one blow
2) Can it decamitate in one blow
3) Is it easy to handle
4) Is it light
5) Is it durible"
rule 1 and 2 are most important
(page 36)

Power tools aren't recommened because they need power souces or fuel.

Slingshots and bows can be useful expecially when staying quite is key and theres a need for a long distance kill, but significant. Bows can also be used to start fires with flaming arrows without detection.

Guns: Nothing is a better weapon than the right gun and should be your first weapon, but watch your ammo and take care of it because they can provide a false sense of security.

Theres a lot to know but Ak-47's and semi auto riffles are your best bets.
Pistols should only be secondary fire arms and if you ever find yourself using it than you should be looking for an escape route. Anyway silence is key but weapons are endless and the book explains them furturer.


anyway I could go on for a while but you should buy the book instead, anyway on to my personal plan.


Wait out the inital infestations at home, with a core group of friends and family that are battle ready. My house would remain the home base throughout but only those capible of fighting would ever leave unless their are emergencies. We'd keep a ear on whats going on through television and radio (with extra batteries incase). If the military lost control we'd prepare for the long haul. We'd send out weekly bike teams of 3 to gather what we need and scout the near by zombie populations, but staying under the radar. If we ever needed to leave we'd use our hummer because its quite compared to a disel and can kill and protect. For the first couple years we'd stay low key but we'd eventually send out teams of 5 on bikes more heavly armed to look for other hunters capible of fighting. Eventually we'd have a good sized group of good men and women capible of controling any attack we'd face in my area. Around this time we'd start sending out much larger groups of our best men (different means of transportation depending on the missions) to find even more fighters and to start actually hunting the zombies. By year four I'd hope to have complete control of my town and even be sending groups to Portland. At year 10 I'd hope that we control of Portland and Vancover and can use cars openly on the roads, still maintaining my home town as the main base. By year 15 I'd hope we'd made contact with other large groups capible of surviving and starting major zombie exterminations. At the 20 year mark I'm confident we would have made contact with other nations and that there would be little to no zombies left. At this point we could finally start rebuilding.















and NBP you may have gotten your lol's but zombies are not a laughing matter. Its a serious threat.

fir_nev
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expert is currently inside one of the safest places on earth.
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2brown347
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It's true, he may come in handy someday

fir_nev
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2brown347 wrote:It's true, he may come in handy someday
My son and I have long foreseen this crisis...
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