Falling in love.

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infectted
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Falling in love.

Post by infectted » 13 Aug 2009, 12:00

Hey guys, its my first time but i wanna share a short opinion on falling in love and soccer. For those who already have a girlfriend or are very close to one i hope you don't take this too seriously.


Falling in love- Falling in love is part of life, all of us know that, some time in your life you'll meet this very amazing girl that'll capture your heart.

HOWEVER, lets face it, its true theres a saying that goes " if you want to be the best, you must be prepared to sacrifice everything " in my opinion, that in some extend include love. Being in love is like a drug, your thoughts are always on her, training, when you're alone and before it you'll be lost in love and lose sight of your goal.

I've come to this after thinking hard for the past few weeks as i'm recovering from my recovery.

That DOES NOT mean to reach the top we're not allowed to be in love, its just that in my opinion to be able to reach our goals, its alright to love, but not to drown in it.


Thanks for reading(: and please give me your thoughts and mayB how u handle your own situation. thanks(:

Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader » 13 Aug 2009, 12:49

In my opinion, being in love helps you stay focused on football.

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years or so, and we live together while going to university. Yes, she stills means a lot to me, and requires time, but this takes nothing away from my training. She understands, that sometimes, however much I want to, I may have to forgo a date for an important Provincial A practice, or a men's intermediate game with my club. I still feel bad about this, though, and find time it up to her on less training intensive days, or my day off on Sundays.

I get what you are saying too, about trying to limit any and all unnecessary outside distractions, but I really think you can't term a relationship as 'unnecessary'. It's not something you need, but it's not something you're going to spend your life without, either. IMO, a girlfriend can motivate you to do better, and even help keep your focus on your game. For example, up and coming MMA fighter Jon 'Bones' Jones says that before he met his wife and married, he had too many distractions with other girls and partying. Being a committed relationship helps him focus on his training, knowing he can come home every night to a warm, loving family.

Every guy plays better with women around, after all. There's scientific studies, and that's one of the reasons why some sports have cheerleaders. :P But it goes beyond that. A truly supportive girlfriend will be like a good friend, in some ways. They'll give you congratulations when you win, and are of a good recent form, but they'll also be there to try to dispel bad spirits when you are losing. Mental support like that is a huge asset, in any level of football. Builds confidence.

Most pros are in committed relationships, and some more than likely were while training. I think, if you can't find adequate time to balance relationship, football and work and school, you either aren't trying hard enough, or your girlfriend isn't that supportive in the first place. That's a real shame, because when she is, it's an awesome feeling.

What are your reasons for coming to this conclusion? Do you feel your girlfriend was never supportive with your football, and was rather - for lack of a better term - "high-maintenance"? Did you take it too far, and fawn over her day in and day out, trying to make her happy? Because girls who are really in love with you don't need that. They need attention, yes, but not such that you don't get any time for yourself.

Most importantly, did you ever discuss these concerns with her? If not, I hope it's not too late to try. I'd hate to see you swear off love for the rest of your footballing career. :P
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Wanderer
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Post by Wanderer » 14 Aug 2009, 09:24

Nah you shud put football before, well, love. "Love" can come anytime, you've only got a few years to train for footy. And love is a distraction. Thats what I think.

Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader » 14 Aug 2009, 11:39

I still don't see why you should have to draw the line, and be an emotional shut-in for football. You aren't gonna tell me there aren't a bunch of pros who balanced relationships and other, more severe problems, like poor families, growing up.

Are we, by an extension of the same principle, not supposed to have friends while training, because they are a distraction? They're very similar to romantic relationships in a way. They require time and attention to do things together, and they're there to support you and make sure you have a good time now and then, to take your mind off your worries.

I think you're completely ignoring the mental aspect. It's important we have these relationships around us, because nobody wants a long, lonely road to the top. Getting there is so much easier when you have supportive friends and others to help you along the way.

Not to be curt, but is this quote from the 'Inspirational Songs' thread where you get your ideas about dealing with women?
Heres one I concluded from girls...

Treat em like sh*t and they'll treat you like gold, treat em like gold and the'll treat you like sh*t.

and

The only way to get over a girl is to get under another one
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All roads lead to Rome.

Triskaidekaphobia: The unnatural fear of the number 13.
Most of Ballack's opposition have this phobia.

I'm Scott. Don't let the title fool you; I.AM.CANADIAN!

BuzzingBee
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Post by BuzzingBee » 14 Aug 2009, 13:35

Rome_Leader wrote:I still don't see why you should have to draw the line, and be an emotional shut-in for football. You aren't gonna tell me there aren't a bunch of pros who balanced relationships and other, more severe problems, like poor families, growing up.

Are we, by an extension of the same principle, not supposed to have friends while training, because they are a distraction? They're very similar to romantic relationships in a way. They require time and attention to do things together, and they're there to support you and make sure you have a good time now and then, to take your mind off your worries.

I think you're completely ignoring the mental aspect. It's important we have these relationships around us, because nobody wants a long, lonely road to the top. Getting there is so much easier when you have supportive friends and others to help you along the way.

Not to be curt, but is this quote from the 'Inspirational Songs' thread where you get your ideas about dealing with women?
Heres one I concluded from girls...

Treat em like sh*t and they'll treat you like gold, treat em like gold and the'll treat you like sh*t.

and

The only way to get over a girl is to get under another one
Interesting POV but,your wrong,oh so wrong wanderer,i don't think that you are mature enough to even handle a relationship,getting under another person makes it worse,because you have a ton of emotion scars,so what comes down to having close relationships is.well if you are mature for it,im not saying, center yourself around that girl or boy,if you do it will hinder your success but life's full of changes,constant changes,and you have to accept that,people fall in and out of love all the time,its how you deal with it,and honestly if you were to let a guy or girl get in the way of your career then i don't think your quite ready for commitment,even for soccer,so just think of your actions first,before anyone else,and always try to make the right decision,love doesn't suck,at times it does hurt,but it doesn't suck,you just have to know how to deal with it,and as for making sacrifices i think that's more with training,and spending less time with friends or gf. *im gonna write about stuff like this in my guides to come* but it doesn't mean you have to stop it completely it might just be the environment your around,good people can make you or break you,it just comes down to your decisions,what comes first,and honestly if someone is true to you,and loves you for who you are,from the inside then it will all just work out,relationships require a lot of work and time,but you can be football obsessed 24/7 you need a break,and friends can help,or they can make it worse,again as Rome_Leader wrote its decisions in life that can make you a success or a failure,and success is what were talking about right? since you want to become a professional footballer.
Practice and drive are all you need, You will become good, if not great, and then, if you wish to go further, the opportunities will come to you - Rome_Leader

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AmericanFutballer
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Post by AmericanFutballer » 14 Aug 2009, 13:48

But guys c'mon face it, in Highschool nothing will ever be serious, there will always be an exclusion to this rule but for the most part the girls/boys you go out with will be for at max a year. When I had a gf freshman year I wasn't obsessed with her but she never focused on someone other than herself. I think most highschool relationships will end up like that, you start off with the best intentions (or you're super horny in some guys cases) and you eventually realize you want more 'you' time. Last year I chose not to get involved with anyone and on the field it showed, I finally had my priorities straight and didn't have to bend over just to suit someone else's schedule. Over this past summer I worked super hard, I don't need a Girl to help me up when I'm donw, I'd hope for a girl like that but the truth is I probably won't find her. Because highschool isn't the place for girls like that (atleast the more attractive girls don't care at all about that). Hence, I'm still friendly with everyone I just don't need them. I know what I want and that's to make the Region ODP Pool this year, I have my goals set and skill sets I need to work on and a schedule of how I can achieve this goal. And now a girl is supposed to walk into my life and throw everything around because I fall in love with her?

I don't know, I personally want love but I won't ever find it in highschool. There's too much to do and with a girl I just want to be with her most of the time because I like her (and believe I love her). So for me, girls are a distraction. Friends are different because they know when to give me space and they'll accept that this is my thing, this is who I am. I don't have to impress them because they are my friends.

However, Rome_Leader you make excellent points and I can see why you believe Falling in Love isn't a bad thing, but for some people it is. Personally, it's a distraction. I have the love of my family and friends, why do I need a girl to disrupt that? I already have people who support me and help me I don't need one girl to do that. But i guess for other's it's nice to have someone who is just always there for you, no matter what. I don't have someone like that honestly, and I may feel alone sometimes because of that but then I go practice. I work harder to get better and faster and stronger.

Whatever though...I write too much lol.
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Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader » 14 Aug 2009, 14:06

I do understand what you mean, in that in the developmental stage, few relationships are serious. I wasn't disputing the fact that choosing between a fling and practicing hard should be easy for you. However, the topic, especially the OP, is not just talking about abstaining from relationship for you developmental years (let's say 12-18 maybe), but for most of your life, because you will be training well into your college years, and as you go semi-pro or intermediate with your soccer into your adult years.

It's good that you yourself aren't the kind of emotional wreck who NEEDS outside support, and knows how to improve your mood yourself, but the right woman definitely could help. As with any relationship, there are positive influences and negative ones. It is up to us to find the positive ones and downplay the effects the negative ones may have on our lives.

Like I said, I'm a university student who lives with his girlfriend, and has for some time. This hasn't prevented me from training or consistently preforming well with my provincial side, or my intermediate men's club. If anything, I would say my girlfriend has helped, because she's very understanding, and does the little things for me like cook a nice supper when I return from practice. I love her as much as any non-athlete would love a girl like that in his life, but my thoughts AREN'T consistently on her.

I guess the point I'm trying to make with all of this is... Your girlfriend is not the problem. If you train, play games and practice and she is always on your mind, that is a problem within yourself. You must learn to check all emotions, positive or negative, at the touchline before you enter the field, and pick them back up when you are done. Just like playing after arguing with your family is detrimental, day-dreaming in your head is also bad. If you can't block out those feelings, positive or negative for 90 minutes, or what have you, you're mentally weak, and need to take steps in your mental game to improve.

I'm not trying to imply that you can't succeed in football without a relationship, or if that isn't the path that is right for some people. I just think it's unfair to generalize and say you cannot train and be 100% focused while in a relationship.
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All roads lead to Rome.

Triskaidekaphobia: The unnatural fear of the number 13.
Most of Ballack's opposition have this phobia.

I'm Scott. Don't let the title fool you; I.AM.CANADIAN!

BuzzingBee
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Post by BuzzingBee » 14 Aug 2009, 14:31

I'm not trying to imply that you can't succeed in football without a relationship, or if that isn't the path that is right for some people. I just think it's unfair to generalize and say you cannot train and be 100% focused while in a relationship.
my point,if you can handle it,that is if your mature enough
Practice and drive are all you need, You will become good, if not great, and then, if you wish to go further, the opportunities will come to you - Rome_Leader

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mrbeankid22
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Post by mrbeankid22 » 14 Aug 2009, 17:24

BuzzingBee wrote:
I'm not trying to imply that you can't succeed in football without a relationship, or if that isn't the path that is right for some people. I just think it's unfair to generalize and say you cannot train and be 100% focused while in a relationship.
my point,if you can handle it,that is if your mature enough
Why do you never put a space after your commas?

rzadzinski
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Post by rzadzinski » 14 Aug 2009, 18:38

mrbeankid22 wrote:
BuzzingBee wrote:
I'm not trying to imply that you can't succeed in football without a relationship, or if that isn't the path that is right for some people. I just think it's unfair to generalize and say you cannot train and be 100% focused while in a relationship.
my point,if you can handle it,that is if your mature enough
Why do you never put a space after your commas?
Get ready to face the wrath of BB! :shock:

*Hides*
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Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader » 14 Aug 2009, 18:39

OMG Rzad, surely there's something you can do... If nothing, make a space for me in that indy racer of yours! :P
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All roads lead to Rome.

Triskaidekaphobia: The unnatural fear of the number 13.
Most of Ballack's opposition have this phobia.

I'm Scott. Don't let the title fool you; I.AM.CANADIAN!

rzadzinski
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Post by rzadzinski » 14 Aug 2009, 18:41

Rome_Leader wrote:OMG Rzad, surely there's something you can do... If nothing, make a space for me in that indy racer of yours! :P
I would pay to see 2 people fit in an open wheel racecar. :P

But that is a good idea, and when it's survival time, no one thinks of the other guy. Save yourself!
"I wear tinted visor not to trick other players, but so hot girls in stands don't see me looking at them."

-Alexander Ovechkin

iwannagopro
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Post by iwannagopro » 14 Aug 2009, 23:14

As a guy who is currently in love with his girlfriend, I'd say it clears my mind more than anything when I'm at training or a match. I don't really have much to say, but I just know that it really cleared my mind from a lot of distractions that I experienced in the past while playing, and she's also great because she's a good football player herself. Being in love is quite wonderful, and just in general makes you a happier, more focused person. Take this advice at your own precaution though, because this is just from my own experience.

Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader » 14 Aug 2009, 23:17

iwannagopro wrote:As a guy who is currently in love with his girlfriend, I'd say it clears my mind more than anything when I'm at training or a match. I don't really have much to say, but I just know that it really cleared my mind from a lot of distractions that I experienced in the past while playing, and she's also great because she's a good football player herself. Being in love is quite wonderful, and just in general makes you a happier, more focused person. Take this advice at your own precaution though, because this is just from my own experience.
Sometimes, you don't need a hundred words just to say that. :P For some people, it may be a distraction, but for most, it just makes you happier all around and thus, allows you to be more focused due to your positive outlook on life.
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All roads lead to Rome.

Triskaidekaphobia: The unnatural fear of the number 13.
Most of Ballack's opposition have this phobia.

I'm Scott. Don't let the title fool you; I.AM.CANADIAN!

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Post by soccer11 » 14 Aug 2009, 23:30

Rome_Leader wrote:
Heres one I concluded from girls...

Treat em like sh*t and they'll treat you like gold, treat em like gold and the'll treat you like sh*t.

and

The only way to get over a girl is to get under another one
I would actually like to agree with that quote 100%, at least from my experiences.
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