Football Jokes

Talk about current events, entertainment, technology or anything not related to soccer
KoNJa04
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Football Jokes

Post by KoNJa04 » 05 May 2009, 22:43

I am really bored an i wanna laugh, any of you know any good football jokes. Hers one from me

There was a Liverpool fan with a really crappy seat at Anfield. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the half-way line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.

When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"

The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Liverpool fan."

The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"

The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
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scottS4
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Post by scottS4 » 05 May 2009, 23:08

whats the difference between a porcupine and a bus full of juventus fans?

on a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

sureideas
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Post by sureideas » 03 Jul 2009, 17:05

First Joke was a real great one. I do think some thing real in the Joke. sometimes football becomes more important than our loved ones.

ninjafootballer
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Post by ninjafootballer » 03 Jul 2009, 23:10

Q what's the difference between an aeroplane kit and David Beckham?
A one's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git.

Yeah it's not very nice but it's a joke.

chicagofirefan
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Post by chicagofirefan » 04 Jul 2009, 08:41

How is C. tevez similar to Chelsea F.C?

They both suck
Last edited by chicagofirefan on 15 Jul 2009, 13:38, edited 2 times in total.

Rulezzz
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Post by Rulezzz » 15 Jul 2009, 00:45

chicagofirefan wrote:How is C. tevez similar to Chelsea F.C?

They both suck
possibly the worst joke ive ever heard in my life.
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Wanderer
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Post by Wanderer » 15 Jul 2009, 12:30

lol we all make bad jokes from time to time..

Heres one I did a few days ago...



Why does "girl name" rarely utter a sound?
Coz it's a vacuum from her neck up.

Then how does she talk?
Out of her other hole.



I did say it was bad..

tevezaholic
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Post by tevezaholic » 15 Jul 2009, 14:07

Rulezzz wrote:
chicagofirefan wrote:How is C. tevez similar to Chelsea F.C?

They both suck
possibly the worst joke ive ever heard in my life.
no he said that toward me,u guys wont get it,we got a bit of an argument going
JESUS IS LORD
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Oh crap,missed me bus!!
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bsc
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Post by bsc » 16 Jul 2009, 01:54

heres one I made up! It was after 25 hours of being awake though so I thought it was funny, but really it's only funny because how nonsensical it is. (it's so bad it's not even going in EFM)

What do Peter Crouch and Santa Clause have in common?

Santa Clause has a beard and Peter Crouch doesn't.



The crouch one makes me laugh so hard, I'm like a geious of comedey (as long as you don't think too hard)

This is one I heard, but think it's a little too soon.

What's the difference between sir Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson

Ferguson will be playing giggs in August.
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Creator01
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Post by Creator01 » 28 Apr 2010, 10:32

Here is I founded; Please read it....!

Ronaldo, Figo and Rooney Joke


Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says; "before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in."

Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "what do you believe?"

Ronaldo looks God in the eye and states passionately, "I believe Football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club."

God looks up and offers Ronaldo the seat to his left.

He then turns to Luis Figo , "and you, Luis , what do you believe?"

Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits."

God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Figo the seat to his
right.

Finally, he turns to Wayne Rooney , "and you, Wayne , what do you
believe?"

hope you enjoyed it...!

shahensha
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Post by shahensha » 28 Apr 2010, 14:01

Is it just me or did you forget the punchline in that joke?
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Evan
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Post by Evan » 28 Apr 2010, 15:04

hope you enjoyed it...!
I didn't. I don't get it.
On a different note everyone's pretty good with women when it comes to hookers... well except the sham-wow guy.
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Ward9310
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Post by Ward9310 » 28 Apr 2010, 15:46

Evan wrote:
hope you enjoyed it...!
I didn't. I don't get it.
Same . . .

panchester07
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Post by panchester07 » 28 Apr 2010, 16:51

Ward9310 wrote:
Evan wrote:
hope you enjoyed it...!
I didn't. I don't get it.
Same . . .
What a damn jackass these spammers are hahaa!
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

klc123
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Post by klc123 » 28 Apr 2010, 18:36

Jack-asses? I have to say i agree with them, I have a healthy sense of humour and I can't find anything particularly funny to laugh at in that joke lol.

Haven't got any football jokes really, but today when I was playing I shot and smashed the goal keeper in the balls and pretty much killed him and one of my mates turned around and said "fu** football, you must be well good at cricket, because you just destroyed his middle wicket." I thought that was pretty funny lol.

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