I have a story too. Its pretty stupid and funny.
I personally dont drink but my best bud has grown an immense affinity towards alcohol. I would even say he is an alcoholic based on the fact that he goes to AA meetings now. How did that happen?
Well it was fine night involving weed and alcohol with a couple of homies. Around 3 am we decided to call it a night (or morning) and went home. My bud was crocked half to death and it was his pickup truck (well his dad's actually) so yeah you can clearly see where this is going.....I thought Id say something but knew he wont listen. He is the type of drunk that gets super arrogant and over-confident in his abilities/ideas
I felt nah its only a 3 minute drive so I will trust this fool and to prove my trust I will not wear a seat-belt but then halfway through he turns to me and says "just to let you know I am going craaaaazzzzzzyyyyyy!" and starts speeding. After that I realized I am high, this kid is a dumbass and it would be common sense to buckle up.
We approached an intersection and there were two paths we could take, both of which would lead us home. He could have just gone straight or taken a right but being drunk off his mind, he was completely indecisive.....also keep in mind he is going around 120 km/hr at the moment........as a result he gets stuck in between the two roads and runs over the traffic signal post.........yup he totally annihilated that post and it just falls over and lands in the back of his truck.
In all honesty, the accident felt like a good bumper car hit where a mofo has been targeting you from way back and makes a successful head to head collision. I was jolted but everything else was fine. That fellow lost his glasses and had no clue what just happened.
I get out of the car to check out the situation. This kid, looks outside the window and sees the red light bulb hanging in front of his face and freaks the fu** out.
Panic stricken he tries to drive around in hopes of getting rid of the post but it just made things worse. The pole was sticking out from both sides of the truck and the nails were hooked to the back of the truck.
Still determined to get rid of the post, he continues driving straight forward.........without even noticing I am in front of the car trying to calmly figure out how to get out of this mess.
I had to jump to the side and roll away Indiana jones style or else I would have been clotheslined to death thanks to the pole.
As a consquence of all that commotion, the police showed up. One guy stepped out of the car and in mere seconds he analyzed the whole scene C.S.I style saying "yes as you can see from these marks on the ground, he was speeding up to 120 km/hr, put the breaks on too late, ran over the curb through the post, then dragged it around for a while."......and I just stood there thinking
"Damn that was spot on!"
Then the cops start interrogating us seperately. Bastard frisks me too. While he is holding my cell-phone, my other friend sends me a text message asking "did you guys make it home?" and the cop just laughs "AHAHAHAHAHA", then asks "how do I send a message saying 'NO'?" and I am standing there with a wtf expression on my face.
After a few questions the cop takes me to his car. I playfully ask "yo do I get shotgun?!" to which I get a befuddled shake of the head and then a stern "NO" haha
Also that day I learned there is absolutely no leg room in the back of a cop car and no seat belts either. Apparently convicts try to strangle themselves with the seat belts.....which is what the cop told me.
My friend and I were taken to the police station for our statements. He was given a breathalyzer which came up to 1.6 and that was 3 hours after the crash and 4 hours after the drinking ended.
I asked the cop if i could just go home but he said "naw you have to come with us. Call your parents for a ride back" and I really didnt want that to happen. I couldnt just call my dad at 5 in the morning and say "hey pops, I almost died and now I am at the police station, come pick me up". Thats like dancing in front of a lion as you glisten with meat juice. Straight up death.
I'd rather have my nuts kicked with a steel boot, atleast that way they end up seeing the light of day. Luckily my friend picked me up 5 hours later, after the cops kicked me out of the police station lobby claiming "this is not your living room". To this day my parents have no clue about what happened.
My friend is gonna fight the case and make an excuse that "a deer showed up out of nowhere" and I will have to be present in the court to support his retarded alibi. Hopefully I will be in the caribbean at that time and they cant reach me. Then again they will contact my house and my parents will know. Thats when all hell breaks loose.