Depression

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klc123
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Post by klc123 »

Thanks for the advice guys, I appreciate the help.

Tbh I thought about the coffee, and I quite a bit, and I decided to come off it completely by slowing cutting back. A month without and if anything the feelings had gotten worse.

I don't want to come across as being all gay, but realistically this is an emotional problem I have brewing in me, the more I try to deny that fact the more I make it worse.
LiveTheDream
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Post by LiveTheDream »

Maybe withdrawal symptoms? How much were you drinking of it already (apologies if you already said)? Is there anything going on in your life that could be contributing to this (exam stress, girlfriend troubles etc)?
Don't wish things were easier...

... Wish you were better


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ScottyBoy
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Post by ScottyBoy »

I generally stay away from coffee because when I drink it I become Tweak from South Park. Just putting that out there :D

I'm sure the one of the purposes of an exercise or health program is to enstill some order in one's life building towards a positive goal. I hit the gym after training today and i'm still feeling it. I'm going to bed tonight knowing i'll wake up tomorrow refreshed and feeling the benefits of my hard work. Its a positive feeling.

The same can go for absolutely anybody. Going to the gym or working hard at something to give yourself a sense of achievement and purpose can impact positively on everyday life.

Also I believe in the old saying "treat others the way you would like to be treated" I'm not for one minute advocating sexually pouncing on the first pretty girl you see but I hope you know what i mean!

Being polite and generally having faith in people can definitely improve your interactions with people.

For example, something as simple as paying for something at a till. Instead of grunting "thanks" or "cheers" as you turn away from them never to lay eyes on them again smile and say "thank you"

It's probably a bit gay read on its own but its just an example of how to conduct social interaction in general. Being seen as a freindly, polite, sociable person can definitly make you come across as a sincere, nice person. Being seen as being nice, genuine etc can make you feel positively about yourself.

I dont claim to be an expert on the subject but I suppose these are a few personal philosophies I hold that help me live my life with a personal mindset and outlook.
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ajc
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Post by ajc »

I totally agree Scottyboy. Doing something as simple as making another person smile can do tremendous things for one's own well being and state of mind. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to spread positivity- we all know the world could use more of it.
klc123
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Post by klc123 »

I work out every day, it helps because I feel worse if I do nothing, but it isn't a solve.

And I'm quite polite all of the time to be honest, everyone says I am anyway.
NewBornProdigy
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Post by NewBornProdigy »

klc123 wrote:I work out every day, it helps because I feel worse if I do nothing, but it isn't a solve.

And I'm quite polite all of the time to be honest, everyone says I am anyway.
It doesn't seem to be a chemical problem, chronic deppression or manic is usually phsycologically based

personally you seem to be hitting the teenage crisis...

Where your intelligence and education outweighs your experience and application

It's kinda, you know so much about the world and society and specifically it's failings that you have little faith in it to excite you anymore

a solution might be to get in touch with your heart again, find something that help grow your purity of expression, something abstract that you find fun and beautiful, but it also helps you express yourself

this is entirely based off my personal philosophy. I to suffered from a dregree of depression after some family troubles, and I can only describe the experience as heavy. But I struggled, I found beauty and expression in the arts, music and literature paticularly. And that medium of sharing and expressing emotions really helped control them

I still feel down time from time, but I understand nowadays it's a nessecary trip to really make the ups worth it

I find most of the problems lie in lack of expression and empathy, true honest empathy really helps.

See it as a challenge, I sat there feeling sorry for myself, that was part of the problem. Don't try control your life, but live it
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expert
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Post by expert »

Interesting topic. In my opinion you don't need to look outside for happiness. You're bound to become miserable when you start thinking 'only if I had THIS I'd be happy' or 'only if the situation was like THAT'. In reality, whatever you gain you'll eventually get bored with and want something different. By changing your attitude you can enjoy life as it is.
Rome_Leader
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Post by Rome_Leader »

expert wrote:Interesting topic. In my opinion you don't need to look outside for happiness. You're bound to become miserable when you start thinking 'only if I had THIS I'd be happy' or 'only if the situation was like THAT'. In reality, whatever you gain you'll eventually get bored with and want something different. By changing your attitude you can enjoy life as it is.
I totally agree with expert's exact sentiments. I tell this to people all the time. You never get to be happy if you think like that; you always want more.
panchester07
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Post by panchester07 »

In my opinion klc, i think it might be a self-esteem issue... I don't know you personaly, and i don't know anything else that what i read from here, but im just gonna tell you what i think and you can disregard it if it isnt true...

If your like me, expressing yourself with arts isn't gonna do it, making others smile could do it, but temporarily working out is good, but the problem is still there,.. looking for happiness in the inside, is the way to go, but first i think you need to increase your self-worth and what you think about yourself (self-esteem/confidence) by taking some actions, and getting success in life... You can't be happy if you have failure in all or most areas of your life....

I personally gonna risk it, and say you don't come off as a person with so many firends, excuse me if i'm wrong, but on the forums its kind of like you really try to prove yourself to people a lot, and you need to show others how good you are.... If you where confident, you wouldn't care so much what people think, not to mention people on a forum...Also, at times you are too defensive, and take things personal, sometimes things aren't even directed at you , or are said in agood way, and you think people are attacking.. All signs of not the highest confidence, esteem, caring what people think of you etc...(all said in a good way)

I think you need to make friends, and have a group of friends that you can kick it with, and socialize constantly.... Those friends that call you during the day to see what your doing, that you can spend 4-5 hours with just talking, that group of friends that your truely comfortable with, chill with and have so many things in common...Everybody needs to feel accepted, feel loved, and not just by mom and dad, but by friends you share things in common with etc....

Another thing that increases confidence greatly are girls, i wasn't the most confident either, and started talking to girls and getting comfortable with them thanks to some advise i got from a member here, just talking, speaking my mind, and eventually becoming confident, now i tease them mess with them and get good resuts..

It all boils down to how you view yourself and stuff.. If you have little or no friends, and litte activity with girls, and you see people chiling with friends, and doing well, and having girlfriends, your gonna feel like you are less, fact.. You might be better in other things, like sports, or school but for teenagers i think the social part is the biggest for some reason...And again, if you aren't doing so well socially, don't have friends, don't feel accepted and that you fit in, and you look at other people doing well in this area(social life) you will feel down.....

I use to struggle with this, and this affected my quality of life, because i moved countires back and forth a lot, but now, again thanks to advise and will to work, and also accepting rejection as part of the learning process, have plenty good friends, that i can chill with, that call me everytime they're gonna do something, and also do much better with girs..... You automatically feel like your worth a lot, that you're cool lad, your self-esteem raises and so does your confidence..... You can't really feel depressed if your getting success in all areas of yourlife.

It bet a lot of money, that your social life is a big part of why you are in this condition or state. Probably also your fear of rejection keeps you from acting, and its kind of like your stuck. We've all been there. Just remember that the pain goes away, if you face your fears, and growth lasts forever.... But if you don't do anything about it, the pain will always stay there... Mind over emotions
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'
p793
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Post by p793 »

Yo I agree with panchesters views on this topic,

I personally thought i was suffering from depression, In the summer hols I left my group of friends for hardcore football practise, as I thought it was what I wanted, to fu** everyone and just focus on becoming a pro footballer. Bad Idea, I didnt know who i was, didnt know what type of person I was.. At weekends I felt worthless and was taking my frustration out and had a short temper with people. and was getting in arguments with everyone.

So I took some action , I made friends with more people and got my all friends back, I got with more girls, had more confidence, and still played football. On weekends instead of just watching footy by myself all day, If im not meeting people to go out, I go up to pub and get a drink and watch it and meet new people.

I still want to be a pro, but im not gunna just keep thinking if only... etc now I just live a good fun life, spend time socially with people and the results come off on the pitch too.

If im with a girl, and wanna spend more time with her, i aint gunna be tied to down to some gay routine, i just do it, and then do my troutine another time.

Now i have a purpose other than football, a lot of my problems were actually coming through bordem i think, I had nothing to do so i started creating all theese scenarios in my head, or just caused arguments cos i had nothing to do, i also was hearing some voices in my head, just random phrases that meant nothing, it wasnt depression or mental issues, it was just stress and bordem mixed.

Now im sorted, im fine, this was just a blip in my life, ii am starting to realise because i put the effort in with girls and friends, they do the same, they will contact me asking for me to do thigns.

So my advice in conclusion: do things, dont over think, go out and meet new people. dont make some pussy ass excuse, i had acne for a bit which i used an excuse to not talk to people. fu** that, i got the balls to do it and once i got over that it soon started to disapear, because i wasnt thinking about it too much.

I still have days some times when I feel i dont know who i am, but that is going away from spending more time wtih people and discovering myself, i have more views on situatuions which is helping me bcome me.
klc123
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Post by klc123 »

It makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that you think I have no friends based on how I come across on this forum.

W.e I give in, you probably know better than me and you're probably right, but I don't feel like putting effort in to "make myself popular" that's part of depression, I can't be bothered to do anything, and I'm just cutting myself off.

Tbh I've been having a lot more up days recently, but the bad days are getting worse and suicide creeps into my mind more and more...
panchester07
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Post by panchester07 »

So, its not that you don't have friends, its not that you aren't in a football team, everything in yourlife is doing good - You jut feel suicidal some days for no reason? is that what your telling us? hard to believe? everything in your life is normal, you put your hand in your heart, and theres nothing realistically that any other kid has that you lack, but you're feeling depressed??
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'
Icy
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Post by Icy »

Panny, depression isn't caused by simply not having things like friends, football, whatever.

Klc, if it's at the point of suicidal thoughts, its best to see someone about it.
"Somewhere along the line, we seem to have confused comfort with happiness"
panchester07
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Post by panchester07 »

I know its not just cause of that.. but i seen cases of "depression", when people loose someone close to them, (death) or some sh*t, or people that get there heart broken really bad by their significant other... but its always an outside thing causing you to feel this way...

So, whats your story? What could you possibly be missing? I believe you, you might be depressed, but why? Just because?

expert told you its and attitude, happines is in the inside - panchester and p793 told you to do something about your social life (friends and girls) - scottyboy and ajc told you to be nice, polite, do good deeds and exercise - NBP recommended expressing yourself with arts - live the dream told you to do something about the coffee-- i dont know if im missing anything, but all this honest great advise you have disregarded, dismissed, rejected, etc. So what is it? What do you need to do? Why are you like this? Things that have good things in there life going for them aren't depressed.

I realize your pessimist, but reaizing and feeling sorry for yourself isn't gonna do anything about...

sh*t happens, but you move on? Why are you so pessimist? Your doing fine? What does your life lack? You do everything, you have everything and your depressed??? Take action, stop dwelling on the problem and concentrate on the solution, if you act you'll see that you'll start feeling better fast! But if all the help people give you you reject, you say things are getting worse and worse, and don't do anything, you aren't gonna fix the problem... Your feeling way to sorry for yourself, and not even counting your blessings.. Your stuck on a mindset and you ahve to move on....

Many kids would kill to be where you are right now.. kids in afirca, would love your opportunities, everybody has problems and insecurities, work on them and they go away, period.

I would LOVE to hear your take on it, as you haven't stated it... - What happened? Why did you started feeling depressed, you certainly weren't born that way - Second question, How do you fix it? Every problem has a solution and you know it... All you have done is say that you aren't enjoying life, that your downs are worse everyday, and disregard advise after advise.. Could you please answer the above to quesstions, instead of complaining of the problem (excuse me if it sounds hard, i don't know how else i could say it)
Last edited by panchester07 on 13 Dec 2010, 02:30, edited 1 time in total.
2brown347
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Post by 2brown347 »

To be honest depression isn't something somebody without lots of knowledge (learned, experienced, or both) should be preaching about. It seems to me like you have no sympathy toward the feelings, which is likely caused by lack of experience and/ or knowledge of depression so you shouldn't exactly be the spokesman of the forum (mainly aimed towards panchester, but other members as well)

Honestly I'm in no position to preach just like most of you aren't but I will say if its bad there isn't shame in getting help. I've seen what suicides can do to a group of friends, school, town, etc and I guarantee everyone effected by them would rather have had the person get help.
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