Chuck Norris Game

redrover365 · Post by **redrover365** » 25 Nov 2007, 04:31

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

2brown347 · Post by **2brown347** » 25 Nov 2007, 06:04

Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.

Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.

Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.

redrover365 · Post by **redrover365** » 25 Nov 2007, 18:32

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

ratherton · Post by **ratherton** » 25 Nov 2007, 19:17

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

Sounds like the sort of person we need as England manager

Davidson9 · Post by **Davidson9** » 25 Nov 2007, 19:17

hahaha soo true, ratherton your posts are so appropriate for the time

They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

2brown347 · Post by **2brown347** » 26 Nov 2007, 02:50

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

redrover365 · Post by **redrover365** » 26 Nov 2007, 02:57

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

Croatianblood1 · Post by **Croatianblood1** » 26 Nov 2007, 03:05

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

redrover365 · Post by **redrover365** » 26 Nov 2007, 03:39

Ninjas want to grow up to be like chuck norris. But usually they grow up to be killed by Chuck Norris

2brown347 · Post by **2brown347** » 26 Nov 2007, 03:56

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

redrover365 · Post by **redrover365** » 26 Nov 2007, 04:40

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes

Davidson9 · Post by **Davidson9** » 26 Nov 2007, 13:05

Chuck Norris can travel back in time, one time he went back to save Lincoln, the bullet bounced off Chuck's beard, Lincoln's head blew up in amazement

jcdenton · Post by **jcdenton** » 26 Nov 2007, 13:36

Chuck Norris made me come back to the EF after over 6 months of exile!

dareliss · Post by **dareliss** » 26 Nov 2007, 15:13

hey jcdenton welcome back, it's been a long time,

BGbeast23 · Post by **BGbeast23** » 26 Nov 2007, 21:34

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of
sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but
was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question
Chuck Norris."

How many martial arts experts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and Chuck Norris to turn the planet.