This is a lot of work, too much in my opinion. To be honest though, really the best thing you can do is go to the gym to work out. If you're intimidated, don't be, as there's always someone else weaker or in worse shape than you. The program that I am on right now is the pre-season weightlifting guide from Sigi Schmid's Complete Conditioning for Soccer. For the first four weeks, on Mondays and Thursdays do: 3*12 bench press, 3*12 military press, 3*12 lat pull-down, 3*12 seated row, 3*12 bicep curl (preferably a preacher's curl, to eliminate cheating) and 3*12 lying tricep extention. On Tuesdays and Fridays do: 3*12 clean deadlift, 5*12 squat (or leg press, I prefer squats as it works more muscles) 2*20 leg extention, 4*12 leg curl, 3*15 hyperextention with body weight, 3*15 weighted calf raise. Also, do abs every day, for me I usually do weighted sit-ups with some leg throws, but there are many others that can be done. Any questions about exercises, either pm me or look on the internet.
However, if you can't get to or you don't have the time or money to join a gym, there are certain exercises you can do at home. For chest and arms, do pushups. For lats do pull-ups. Lower back do supermans (get on your stomach and lift your arms and legs so that you are balancing on your pelvic reigon, like you are flying like superman, hold as long as possible) For legs, do wall sits (back against wall, legs bent at knees at 90 degrees, hold as long as possible) or lunges (weight is optional) Plyometrics are good too.
God damn brewery!!!