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The Naughty Jokes Thread

Reguardless of whether or not they tell them because they find them funny or they tell them because they want to insult someone, my point still remains.

Reguardless of their intention, if you don't have a chip on your shoulder and your mature enough to not care and to not take offense then racism will never bother you untill it gets to a point in which your racially attacked or beaten.

There are always going to be people insulting other people because of things, it doesn't make it right or wrong because of what their insulting someone. Yes its wrong to racially try and insult someone, but its also wrong to insult someone about the way they dress and act, wheres the difference?

If someone called you gay trying to insult you would you care? would you take offense? would you think that your actually gay just because they said it? If you answer yes to any of them then in my opinion your mind-set is too immature and fragile to be in society today, if you think that the world can be a eutopia where no one does anything wrong then your living in the clouds because there will always be jerks trying to upset people, its just how people respond that matters.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Utopia, klc. Utopia. :wink:

Anyhow, I appreciate what you're saying. It's not something that's ever affected me and I don't have particularly strong views on the matter. However, I think differentiation needs to be made between racist jokes and racist barbs/insults.

I largely agree on the joke side, but do you still feel that someone is immature if they take racist insults to heart? If a black football player gets upset because fans are making monkey noises and throwing bananas on the pitch, does that make him immature (in your opinion)?
Sorry my spelling is disgusting :)

I don't think it would make him very immature, but i think it would be more mature of him if he didn't take insult and just got on with the game. Obviously no one should be subject to such abuse and its wrong, but its not unavoidable. Players get a constant onslaught from the oppositions fans about the stupidest things.

While at the luton game on tuesday, i remember one bloke sitting near my insulting a player called potter by screaming "go wave your wand at someone else harry, you fucking cunt!" Footballers are always going to subject to abuse like that, its part of the game, its why so many people don't make it, because they can't stand the pressure and haven't got the mental strength to keep their cool while in situations like that.

Fundamentally its the same thing as been racist, you can insult someone because of their skin colour, or you can insult them on their surname, there isn't really a difference between the two in my opinion. So if people have the bottle and mentality to deal with abuse like the surname calling, why can't they cope with racist remarks?

Throwing bananas is very bad though, because that could actually hurt you so thats a form of assault, the same as throwing coins at a player, and i think everyone would be anoyed if put in such situations.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Why dont we replace the joke target with a similar word, IE:

Mexicans : lexic
Blacks : Sacks
Whites : kites
to know Him is to want to know Him more"

"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

Hi, i'm Carlos Tevez and this is my lean mean grilling machine. Im so proud of it I put my face on it.

People who say something cannot be done are often surprised by others doing it.

^^ saw that the other day but forgot to put it on, i thought it was brilliant.

Statistically, Vanessa Parroncel is better at going through defenders than Emile Hesky, Fact.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

This definelty will be removed but whatever:

These next few are of extremley bad taste, my friend told me them and I literally puked, actually noone read this just to be safe

Katie is turning 6 tomorrow
"Guess how old I'm going to be tomorrow!" she yelled to her dad.
"I Don't know" he replied, playing along.
"I'll be six!" she replied.

She went into the kitchen and asked her grandad, "guess how old I'll be tomorrow!"
"To answer this I'll need to pull down your knickers." he says.
So Katie lets him do this. Her grandad inserts two fingers into her, moves them around for a few minutes, pulls them out, sniffs, then licks them.
"You'll be six tomorrow" Grandad says.

"How did you know that?" replies Katie.

"Because I heard you saying it to your dad"


What did the deaf, blind, mute, parapalegic child get for christmas?



What do you get when you see a baby with pitchfork in its head?
And erection...

What did the cannibal do when he dumped his giflfriend?
Wiped his ass

why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
so you can cum on its face

So a girl asks her father, can I borrow the car please?
The father replies: 'Ok but you'll have to suck my dick first'
The girl thought about it for a while and then agreed.
While sucking her fathers dick she asked 'Dad, why does your dick taste like shit ?'
'Oh damn, your brother already borrowed the car'

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!

Two toddler's aged 6, one female and one male go to their parents and ask what their parts do. The dad goes to his son that his privates are like a car and he needs to drive it in and out of the girls garage. While the mum tells the girl she is to stop the car getting into the garage.
So the next day they both pull their trousers down, and the boy says "I have to get my car in your garage", while the girl says "I can't let your car in my garage"
When the girl gets home, her hands are covered in blood. And her mum asks her what happened. The girl said "I cut the car's wheels off so it couldn't get it"

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"

There was a family with a mother, father, daughter and son. One day the family was in a serious car accident, and the mother was severely injured. Later, the family of the mother was in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting to see how their mother was doing. The doctor came out and he gave the family the news with a sad look on his face. The father said "My god, is my wife ok?". The doctor answered " No, she when you got hit by the other car, your wife was instantly paralized from the waist down. This means she will no longer be able to move her legs, walk or run. Life will never be the same with your wife paralized. You may still be able to have good family moments like when you and your family used to walk on the beach or play catch in the park. And i am terribly sorry. The husband and children started to get tears in their eyes, then the husband asked, " My God doctor, is this really true, is it true my wife is permanently paralized and she will never be able to walk again?"

The doctor answered, "No, I was just playin with ya"

The doctor contiues " She's dead."

A tramp walks into a bar and asks the barman for a fork. The barman is puzzled but gives th tramp a fork. A few minutes later another tramp walks in and asks for a fork. The barman is wondering why he would want a fork, but decides not to ask and just gives him a fork. A few minutes later another tramp walks in and goes up to the bar. The barman says "Let me guess, you want a fork?". The tramp says "actually, can I have a straw? Someone was sick outside but all the chunks are gone".

the worst ones i could find:

whats the difference between an apple and a baby?
-i don't cum on an apple before i eat it.

how do you get a 1 armed retard out of a tree?
-wave and say hello

what did the blind, deaf, asthmatic kid get for his birthday?
scottS4 wrote:
the worst ones i could find:

whats the difference between an apple and a baby?
-i don't cum on an apple before i eat it.

how do you get a 1 armed retard out of a tree?
-wave and say hello

what did the blind, deaf, asthmatic kid get for his birthday?

Dude. They are some of the worst around. Ive heard them before. Pretty sick aye
A bartender challenges people to make his horse laugh for a free drink. A man walks in and takes him up on this challenge. He walks over to the horse and whispers in its ear. The horse laughs hysterically. To the amazement of the bartender, this man continues to do it for two more days with ease. The next day, the bartender changes the challenge and asks the people to make the horse cry if they want a free drink. The very same man then walks up to the horse and makes it weep uncontrollably. Astonished, the bartender asks the man "how did you make the horse laugh?", to which the man replied "well, i whispered to the horse that I got a bigger dick". "That is all good, but how the hell did you make it cry", the bartender asked and the man replied "oh that was easy....i just whipped it out as proof"
A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot of tequila. After gulping down the shot, he turns to three men having a nice cold beer and says to the first man "i fucked your mom!". The three men just looked on quietly and went back to their conversation. The man orders another shot of tequila, subsequently turns to the three men again and yells out to the second man "your mom sucked my dick!!". Once again the men turn to look at him and then go back to their discussion. Finally, the man orders a third shot of tequila, after which, he turns to the third man and yells "i fucked your mom in the ass". The three men turned to look at him once again and finally replied, "Go home dad, you are drunk!"

A man goes to the pharmacy to pick up condoms. He goes up to the hot cashier and says: "Ma'am, I don't know what size condoms I need. Can you help me out?" so she reaches down his pants, feels around for a bit and gives him a pack of large condoms.
Later, another man does the same thing. "Ma'am, can you help me out? I don't know what size condoms I need." So she reaches down, feels around for a bit and produces a box of mediums.
Later, a shy 16 year old goes up to the cashier and says nervously:
"Ma'am, I don't know what s-size condoms I need. C-Can you help me out?" So she reaches down his pants, feels around for a bit, sighs and gives him a box of kleenex.
Peadophiles are fucking immature arseholes

Ahh man that's foul lol.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

But clever! I like it. ;\ I don't believe in 'too soon', either. If you're going to laugh later, laugh now. Just not around those who will certainly be offended; political correctness is a different boat.

All roads lead to Rome.

Triskaidekaphobia: The unnatural fear of the number 13.
Most of Ballack's opposition have this phobia.

I'm Scott. Don't let the title fool you; I.AM.CANADIAN!