I need your help

Attitude, motivation, coping with pressure and everything else related to psychology
Miilleniium
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Posts: 62
Joined: 15 Jul 2011, 18:56

I need your help

Post by Miilleniium » 02 Sep 2011, 16:12

Everytime I have a "problem" I come to this site and ask you guys whats the best for me, I'm sorry if I abused or something but at all my questions here, I'm 100% sure this one is the more important one, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME TO READ MY STORY.

I don't know where to begin. I used to played soccer at age of 6 at 2002 and leave it a year later at 2003. At june of 2010, when the world cup started I started playing futsal in a field next to my house. As you can see, I had 7 or 8 years without playing. I played really bad, everytime I went out to play everybody maked fun of me I didn't even know how to receive a ball but I started to love so much this game that I practice and practice and play and play. In november 5th of 2010 I played soccer again, after 5 months I still played bad. I guess my pain was my motivation to keep practicing. In nowdays I still practice a lot, but I think I don't played as good as I deserve for all my sacrifices. I don't have a normal life, I'm 15 years old and haven't had a girldfriend since i'm playing. I don't go out with my friends, I don't have a lot of friends. Everytime my mom or stepfather says to come with them to eat or go out I say no because that way i will have the house all alone and I can practice. Since the past 2 weeks I've felt really depressed because I do practice a lot and still don't play as good as I want to! so i've stop playing and practicing a lot. I tooked a week of rest, silly me I tought that was what I needed to improve, after that week I went out to play and played really bad :cry:. Idk wtf is happening, I do pray a lot to GOD and I feel like he does hear me but he doesn't helps me, I've tried to have confidence in myself as you guys say but still I don't play good. I'm 100% sure this is a mentaly problem, there is a problem with my brain idk but when I go out and watch a lot of people it's like something inside of me it's blocking my skills and I can't show them. It's like i've never practiced in my life. My stepfather told me to go on vacations with him, I told him no because I want to keep practicing and playing but I DON'T GET ANY BETTER. Everytime I go to my dad's house and play there I do play good, very good, in the sphalt, I drible, make good passes and there isn't a lot of room do to all those things, I even make a lot of goals and the porter net is really really small. But when I come here, to my mom's house and play futsal I don't play good. I feal like i'm not improving at all, I feal depressed, I feal weak, I feal like anybody in Venezuela is practicing a lot as I do and still they are better than me. I've always thinked that the best players in the world are the best because they practice a lot so I do that to be like them. Idk if the problem is that I have only 15 months in this game. I practice/play 1 hour since last week because I'm really down with myself and I don't have the strenght to play anymore. My game is 95% futsal and 5% soccer, I play soccer like 1 or 2 times a month. and I've only played 3 soccer games in my life, 2 from practice and 1 was a friendly mach. Another thing I want to say is that I don't talk when I play, everybody is yelling and all that stupid stuff I just don't say a word, I don't know if this has influnced my game, I just think it's the way I am. My room is full of football stickers, my towel is from FC Barcelona, I have 4 soccer balls, I have like 15 shirts of soccer and 10 shorts. I have 2 pair of futsal shoes and 2 for soccer, as you guys can see, I do love this game a lot.

What should I do? Should I practice more? Should I go to a psychologist? Should I leave this love I have?

nick117
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Posts: 1114
Joined: 27 Aug 2009, 23:14

Re: I need your help

Post by nick117 » 03 Sep 2011, 02:49

Miilleniium wrote:Everytime I have a "problem" I come to this site and ask you guys whats the best for me, I'm sorry if I abused or something but at all my questions here, I'm 100% sure this one is the more important one, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME TO READ MY STORY.

I don't know where to begin. I used to played soccer at age of 6 in 2002 and leave it a year later in 2003. in june of 2010, when the world cup started I started playing futsal in a field next to my house. As you can see, I had 7 or 8 years without playing. I played really bad, everytime I went out to play everybody made fun of me I didn't even know how to receive a ball but I started to love this game that I practiced and practiced and played and played.

On November 5th 2010 I played soccer again, after 5 months I still played poorly. I guess my pain was my motivation to keep practicing. nowdays I still practice a lot, but I think I play as good as I deserve for all my sacrifices. I don't have a normal life, I'm 15 years old and haven't had a girldfriend since i started playing. I don't go out with my friends, I don't have a lot of friends. Everytime my mom or stepfather says to come with them to eat or go out I say no because that way i will have the house all alone and I can practice.

Since the past 2 weeks I've felt really depressed because I do practice a lot and still don't play as good as I want to! so i've stop playing and practicing a lot. I took a week of rest, silly me I thought that was what I needed to improve, after that week I went out to play and played really bad.

Idk wtf is happening, I do pray a lot to GOD and I feel like he does hear me but he doesn't help me, I've tried to have confidence in myself as you guys say but still I don't play good. I'm 100% sure this is a mentality problem, there is a problem with my brain idk but when I go out and watch a lot of people it's like something inside of me is blocking my skills and I can't show them. It's like i've never practiced in my life. My stepfather told me to go on vacations with him, I told him no because I want to keep practicing and playing but I DON'T GET ANY BETTER.

Everytime I go to my dad's house and play there I do play good, very good, in the asphalt, I dribble, make good passes and there isn't a lot of room do to all those things, I even make a lot of goals and the porter net is really really small. But when I come here, to my mom's house and play futsal I don't play good. I feel like i'm not improving at all, I feel depressed, I feel weak, I feel like anybody in Venezuela is practicing a lot as I do and still they are better than me. I've always thought that the best players in the world are the best because they practice a lot so I do that to be like them. Idk if the problem is that I have only 15 months in this game. I practice/play 1 hour since last week because I'm really down on myself and I don't have the strength to play anymore. My game is 95% futsal and 5% soccer, I play soccer like 1 or 2 times a month. and I've only played 3 soccer games in my life, 2 from practice and 1 was a friendly mach. Another thing I want to say is that I don't talk when I play, everybody is yelling and all that stupid stuff I just don't say a word, I don't know if this has influnced my game, I just think it's the way I am. My room is full of football stickers, my towel is from FC Barcelona, I have 4 soccer balls, I have like 15 shirts of soccer and 10 shorts. I have 2 pair of futsal shoes and 2 for soccer, as you guys can see, I do love this game a lot.



What should I do? Should I practice more? Should I go to a psychologist? Should I leave this love I have?
fixed your paragraphs and writing for you... also you may practice but you may not practice well, secondly you said you pray to "god" that won't do you a damn thing. God isn't some magic figure that hands you crap you work for it yourself. also you sound whiny fix that.
Last edited by nick117 on 03 Sep 2011, 03:44, edited 2 times in total.

Miilleniium
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Posts: 62
Joined: 15 Jul 2011, 18:56

Post by Miilleniium » 03 Sep 2011, 02:56

wtf man don't reply if you are not gonna say anything :s

panchester07
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Re: I need your help

Post by panchester07 » 03 Sep 2011, 04:01

I understand your problem, and I want to give you great news.. You are just like 90% of us that are in this for real.... I used to be like you bro, if you read through the forums, every 2-3 months, you find someone that posts the same type of post like this one and is asking for help, "i don't have many friends" "i sacrifie so many things for soccer" and "i don't feel as i'm improving as much as i want to" .... dude, i went through THE SAME THING. i played all my life, but in my 13-15 years of age, i made the choice of practicing hard on soccer, and i would go alone to the park, and dribble through the trees, 20 times back and forth, infront of people that wonderd what the fu** i was doing, and sh*t..... I have no damn clue, but i felt the same way as i didn't improve either... I think after we grow up, we learn HOW to practice, and what type of practice improves us most.... When we are younger we are more inocent and might think we are making a big sacrifice and practicing, but we might screw aroung and mess aroung instead of following a structured routine.

You don't need a psychologist, though i have been to a few myself, i guess you'll relax, when you notice, every other person out there, has the same problems and doubts as you, dude, i have seen people that seem super happy, super confident, the coolest ones, and they have the same freaking problems and doubts i do.. Everybody, everybody has flaws and attributes, good things and bad things about them, the answer is to accept yourself and love yourself the way you are.. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile, fu**, how could you not love that guy that looks right back at you, that guy works hard and fights... Accept yourself and recognize you have to work, but that usain bolt, michael phelps, and lio messi got where they are through work, and pushing through the hard moments..

Moving on, you need to find balance in your life.. I know this sounds like a repetition, but you will be unhappy if you only play football all day ( i know it sounds hard but it will happen), you will be unhappy if you only study, you will be unhappy if you only spend time with your friends, you will be unhappy if you only spend time with your family.... Its a proven fact, on the other hand, if you spend 30 minutes with family, then practice for an hour, do a little homework, waste a little time on facebook, and then hang out with friends or call a girl on the phone, and most of your days have balance you will be very happy and have something similar to inner peace.. Add God to the equation and your life will be tremendous..... My point, if your parents invite you to eat, or for vacations, accept invitations, and join them, they wont be here forever, they love you, know much more than you, have been through the same sh*t you have, and want whats best for you.. Organize yourself in a day, to be able to do schoolwork, hang out with friends, play football, and be a little time with family.. The balance shouldn't lean towards anyside more than another, because thats simply how life works... You can improve LOADS on your football, by only practicing 60-90 minutes in a day, but doing it consistently and making those 60-90 minutes count by doing it with intensity....


How are you "practicing"? Are you doing drills, with high intensity, repeating them till you have muscle memory over the skill at 110%?? Finishing one drill and moving to the next one, and doing it even harder? Repeating it over and over one time with all your energy and might? Or are you "practicing" juggling to 10, then doing a stepover, then messing around, then taking a shot, and walking to go get it, then think about the girl in your class, and then repeating the cylce usesleslly...?

Your pratices have to have organization... Do a drill, say 15 times, as hard as you can, swith to the next one do it hard, etc....

Visit the featured articles section to get drills for your specific needs...

index.php?f=86

There you can find loads of drills for shooting, for dribbling, for touch, for control, for receiving, etc....

You need to have curiousity and investigate, go to the training section and read all that sh*t a few times untill you understand how to train and how improvement happens:

http://expertfootball.com/training/

There you can find more drills and start making your routines and practices.. If you do it as hard as possible, theres no way you wont improve, its impossible.. If you learnt how to walk, you can learn how to play football well.. Your not stupid, your not less, theres nothing wrong with you, relax and things will fall into place, we all have been there man.... take it easy..


In summary of this post:

Relax, everybody has the same problems that you do, i promise I did to, and it frustrated me, made me worry, but it lead me to answers. The answer was, don't only play football, playing 5 hours of football is bulls**t, saying no to an invitation, because you want to stay home and practice is bulls**t, the way to go is to go to the invitation, and play football before or after.. Organization son, the day has 24 hours... You need to have and make friends and keep them, having friends and girls in your life are i think the most important elements of self-esteem and self-confidence. You need to spend time with your family, and you need to study and do homework....BALANCE or you will fail. Structure your training, drills, do you think pro's mess around with the ball and play around with the football and expect to get better? No, they have drills, structure, long term and short term goals, and train specifically to improve certain skills..... Work hard and see the improvements, mess around with the ball and you will frustrate yourself more and more... Stay close to God and pray to him for things to improve and they will no doubt.. If you have more questions ask but that should give you some insight on where your making mistakes,. but remember we all have gone through, the only reason i know the answer to what your going through is because i was in your shoes one day as well......
to know Him is to want to know Him more"


"i don't know where the limit is, but I know where it is not"

Tocar y moverse y tratarla siempre muy muy bien..'

desire10
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Joined: 23 Feb 2011, 05:47

Post by desire10 » 03 Sep 2011, 08:01

That was a brilliant post panch', amazing.

Balance is important of cause, I'll second this. I won't elaborate on this because panchester has said it all.

Don't worry about not improving, you will. I am kind of plateuing right now, but I stick at it because I know I will get better, it's not even possible to not improve through quality repetition, whether it be football or not.

You need more playing experience however, are there any teams you can join? Pick ups you can play?
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Everything you need, is already inside.

rocket
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Posts: 19
Joined: 01 Jan 1970, 00:00

Post by rocket » 03 Sep 2011, 14:17

@panchester nice post...
@millenium dude u need to calm down first...... relax enjoy football.... enjoy even if u suck at it... i kno that sounds stupid.... its not lik u practise to become messi one day...
He ,jordan or ronaldinho ... whoeve who has achieved something practised a lot ... with lot of dedication... with lots of disappointments...
but they loved the game ... they enjoyed each tym wen they had the ball... wen they wer in the ground....

i am not sayin that u dont love footballl .. all i am saying is that ur not enjoying it. ur not happy while playin... while practising.... i kno it sucks wen u cant dribble , wen u cant make that easy pass.... just kno ur weakness and accept it....den work on each weakness one at a tym...it will take tym... u will still suck ... wen u keep on eliminatin ur weakness .. u ll see improvements.. u cant be a master in one month or so....


so love it , enjoy it and accept that improvements will take tym.... good luck bro...
Napoleon Hill said “If your desires are strong enough you will appear to possess super-human powers to achieve.”

Miilleniium
Junior Member
Posts: 62
Joined: 15 Jul 2011, 18:56

Re: I need your help

Post by Miilleniium » 03 Sep 2011, 14:21

panchester07 wrote:I understand your problem, and I want to give you great news.. You are just like 90% of us that are in this for real.... I used to be like you bro, if you read through the forums, every 2-3 months, you find someone that posts the same type of post like this one and is asking for help, "i don't have many friends" "i sacrifie so many things for soccer" and "i don't feel as i'm improving as much as i want to" .... dude, i went through THE SAME THING. i played all my life, but in my 13-15 years of age, i made the choice of practicing hard on soccer, and i would go alone to the park, and dribble through the trees, 20 times back and forth, infront of people that wonderd what the fu** i was doing, and sh*t..... I have no damn clue, but i felt the same way as i didn't improve either... I think after we grow up, we learn HOW to practice, and what type of practice improves us most.... When we are younger we are more inocent and might think we are making a big sacrifice and practicing, but we might screw aroung and mess aroung instead of following a structured routine.

You don't need a psychologist, though i have been to a few myself, i guess you'll relax, when you notice, every other person out there, has the same problems and doubts as you, dude, i have seen people that seem super happy, super confident, the coolest ones, and they have the same freaking problems and doubts i do.. Everybody, everybody has flaws and attributes, good things and bad things about them, the answer is to accept yourself and love yourself the way you are.. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile, fu**, how could you not love that guy that looks right back at you, that guy works hard and fights... Accept yourself and recognize you have to work, but that usain bolt, michael phelps, and lio messi got where they are through work, and pushing through the hard moments..

Moving on, you need to find balance in your life.. I know this sounds like a repetition, but you will be unhappy if you only play football all day ( i know it sounds hard but it will happen), you will be unhappy if you only study, you will be unhappy if you only spend time with your friends, you will be unhappy if you only spend time with your family.... Its a proven fact, on the other hand, if you spend 30 minutes with family, then practice for an hour, do a little homework, waste a little time on facebook, and then hang out with friends or call a girl on the phone, and most of your days have balance you will be very happy and have something similar to inner peace.. Add God to the equation and your life will be tremendous..... My point, if your parents invite you to eat, or for vacations, accept invitations, and join them, they wont be here forever, they love you, know much more than you, have been through the same sh*t you have, and want whats best for you.. Organize yourself in a day, to be able to do schoolwork, hang out with friends, play football, and be a little time with family.. The balance shouldn't lean towards anyside more than another, because thats simply how life works... You can improve LOADS on your football, by only practicing 60-90 minutes in a day, but doing it consistently and making those 60-90 minutes count by doing it with intensity....


How are you "practicing"? Are you doing drills, with high intensity, repeating them till you have muscle memory over the skill at 110%?? Finishing one drill and moving to the next one, and doing it even harder? Repeating it over and over one time with all your energy and might? Or are you "practicing" juggling to 10, then doing a stepover, then messing around, then taking a shot, and walking to go get it, then think about the girl in your class, and then repeating the cylce usesleslly...?

Your pratices have to have organization... Do a drill, say 15 times, as hard as you can, swith to the next one do it hard, etc....

Visit the featured articles section to get drills for your specific needs...

index.php?f=86

There you can find loads of drills for shooting, for dribbling, for touch, for control, for receiving, etc....

You need to have curiousity and investigate, go to the training section and read all that sh*t a few times untill you understand how to train and how improvement happens:

http://expertfootball.com/training/

There you can find more drills and start making your routines and practices.. If you do it as hard as possible, theres no way you wont improve, its impossible.. If you learnt how to walk, you can learn how to play football well.. Your not stupid, your not less, theres nothing wrong with you, relax and things will fall into place, we all have been there man.... take it easy..


In summary of this post:

Relax, everybody has the same problems that you do, i promise I did to, and it frustrated me, made me worry, but it lead me to answers. The answer was, don't only play football, playing 5 hours of football is bulls**t, saying no to an invitation, because you want to stay home and practice is bulls**t, the way to go is to go to the invitation, and play football before or after.. Organization son, the day has 24 hours... You need to have and make friends and keep them, having friends and girls in your life are i think the most important elements of self-esteem and self-confidence. You need to spend time with your family, and you need to study and do homework....BALANCE or you will fail. Structure your training, drills, do you think pro's mess around with the ball and play around with the football and expect to get better? No, they have drills, structure, long term and short term goals, and train specifically to improve certain skills..... Work hard and see the improvements, mess around with the ball and you will frustrate yourself more and more... Stay close to God and pray to him for things to improve and they will no doubt.. If you have more questions ask but that should give you some insight on where your making mistakes,. but remember we all have gone through, the only reason i know the answer to what your going through is because i was in your shoes one day as well......
:o

It makes me feel somehow good knowing that there are other people that has the same mistakes I do, I will follow your advice, I think i'm a little obsessed with this soccer/futsal thing.

I used to train dribbling through 4 cones with slalom drill then make 1 pass with my left and 1 with my right to the wall then drible and do the same thing for an hour or more. But yesterday I trained imagining huge defenders xD and drible them and I think it really help me because yesterday I played really good with those tricks I train and invented myself.

I used to train shooting using the ultimate finishing drill by jdefoe but now I go to my backyard and there is a wall that was almost the same structure as a futsal goal net so I used it and the ball wont get away so I think thats better because I wont lose time to go get the ball.

Somedays I used to train dribbling through 4 cones with slalom drill then make a pass at the wall then receive it then shoot using the jodfoes ultimate finishing drill

I used to train with a soccer ball, now i train with a futsal. I don't really know if i'm giving 110% of intensity as you say :s but when I finish my practices I am really tired so I guess that says that I do train hard.

You really motivate me, thank you
Last edited by Miilleniium on 03 Sep 2011, 15:00, edited 1 time in total.

Miilleniium
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Posts: 62
Joined: 15 Jul 2011, 18:56

Post by Miilleniium » 03 Sep 2011, 14:30

rocket wrote:@panchester nice post...
@millenium dude u need to calm down first...... relax enjoy football.... enjoy even if u suck at it... i kno that sounds stupid.... its not lik u practise to become messi one day...
He ,jordan or ronaldinho ... whoeve who has achieved something practised a lot ... with lot of dedication... with lots of disappointments...
but they loved the game ... they enjoyed each tym wen they had the ball... wen they wer in the ground....

i am not sayin that u dont love footballl .. all i am saying is that ur not enjoying it. ur not happy while playin... while practising.... i kno it sucks wen u cant dribble , wen u cant make that easy pass.... just kno ur weakness and accept it....den work on each weakness one at a tym...it will take tym... u will still suck ... wen u keep on eliminatin ur weakness .. u ll see improvements.. u cant be a master in one month or so....


so love it , enjoy it and accept that improvements will take tym.... good luck bro...
Yeahhhh man exactly! When I practice i'm not enjoying it at all :s but when I play I do enjoy, I think it is boring to do the same things over and over again thats why I don't like to train but I do it anyways.
desire10 wrote:That was a brilliant post panch', amazing.

Balance is important of cause, I'll second this. I won't elaborate on this because panchester has said it all.

Don't worry about not improving, you will. I am kind of plateuing right now, but I stick at it because I know I will get better, it's not even possible to not improve through quality repetition, whether it be football or not.

You need more playing experience however, are there any teams you can join? Pick ups you can play?
Well I will go to soccer practice on wednesday and thursday from now on and I play futsal like 4 days a week, when I don't go out to play it's because there are little kids playing or theres nobody

collin
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Joined: 11 May 2010, 03:45

Post by collin » 03 Sep 2011, 17:06

i agree with everyones post, im always in these types of situations, thinking and second guessing myself. But like the other people said you just have to keep training, because if your practicing your getting better, never think otherwise man. Also, there will always be kids who started playing a high level of soccer at 4 years old, and now they are very good but lazy as fu**, and you work your ass off and wonder how you aren't better? Just keep pushing, in the long run you will be the better one if you train and give it your all.


Also, i would like to post something panchester told me one time, and it stuck to me very hard and ill never get rid of his post. Ever.

Here it is


I sense an attitude in you "I practice so much more, and I train so harder, and they are still that much better than me" poor me, I must be a martian... Cause every fu**in human being I know, gets better everytime they practice hard. You aren't from another planet, you aren't a rock, or a metal, your a human, that learns through practice repetition and hard work, stop with victimization, or how my weights coach says "don't feel sorry for yourself"... If you train and give your all in every practice, you'll surpass these kids really fast.. They are human too bro, they also have doubts and worries like we get them every now and then.. They also feel lazy and procrastiante like we do every now and then.. Its not the one that has the prettyest face that wins, its the won that inspite of rain, ...snow, lazyness, excuses, self limitations puts all the crap aside and decides to go and practice 100% intensity.. Thats how you get better.. Hard work.. fu** excuses....Thats in football, in freezbe, and in everything you do, so if you learn it now, and realize that succes is only obtained by hard work, and that you can write your future by taking responsibility of it today, and stop thinking that outside forces control your life, like luck, or someother crap you can improve dramatically. Fix that attitude and you'll go far.. You are getting better if your practicing, and you are playing at a level thanks to the amount of hours you've put in.
-Panchester

Miilleniium
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Posts: 62
Joined: 15 Jul 2011, 18:56

Post by Miilleniium » 04 Sep 2011, 04:59

As always panchester with his great attitud that always has the best thing to say :)

and ty everybody i will continue practicing and give it all at my practices

btw panchester I dont agree with you when you say that playing 5 hours a day is bulls**t, its not, its playing more than anyody else so that you can see results early and be better than them.

desire10
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Joined: 23 Feb 2011, 05:47

Post by desire10 » 04 Sep 2011, 07:46

Miilleniium wrote:As always panchester with his great attitud that always has the best thing to say :)

and ty everybody i will continue practicing and give it all at my practices

btw panchester I dont agree with you when you say that playing 5 hours a day is bulls**t, its not, its playing more than anyody else so that you can see results early and be better than them.
There's no way your training for five hours at 110% intensity. IF you were you would have so many injuries it's not even funny.
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collin
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Post by collin » 04 Sep 2011, 15:46

its beyond the limits for a human being to train 5 hours 110% intensity...

nick117
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Post by nick117 » 04 Sep 2011, 17:10

5 hours a day is stupid... like collin and desire have said it's not possible for you to put in 5 hours of quality in 1 day. not to mention you just said it's not working out for you so why wouldn't you change it?

Miilleniium
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Joined: 15 Jul 2011, 18:56

Post by Miilleniium » 05 Sep 2011, 02:40

Nooo, I have never in my life train for more than 3 hours, what i ment is that some days i train for 2 hours and go out to play 3 hours so that 5 hours a day for training and playing :wink:

nick117
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Joined: 27 Aug 2009, 23:14

Post by nick117 » 05 Sep 2011, 02:54

3 hours is still pushing it. i would never go for more than 2 hours at a time.

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